Voice Dialogue Tips
December 2009
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Dear Participant
Welcome again to Hal & Sidra's Voice Dialogue Tips.
1. Health and Supersonalities Part 2 - For this month's Voice Dialogue Tips, we have the second of two new videos, in which Hal & Sidra share some fascinating insights about the Influence of Subpersonalities on Health. Here is the link http://www.bodymindinformation.com/health2-video.htm
Feel free to let me know what you think by emailing me at jcoroneos@bigpond.com
2. The Voice Dialogue DVD/CD Series - For delivery of your set before Xmas and the Holiday season, order immediately . Do you have any friends who may like the series as a gift? Visit http://www.bodymindinformation.com
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Showing posts with label Shadowbear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shadowbear. Show all posts
13 December 2009
01 September 2009
Vacation, Nature, and our human ways of being...
: Today’s Reflection is about a vacation, Nature, and our human ways of being
: in, and with, the world around us.
It is early morning, and I am sitting on the beach of Mussel Beach Campground, which is on the very West Coast of Vancouver Island, hidden behind Ucluelet, yet right on the ocean. While there are a few other people in the campsite, they are all asleep, and so it feels as though the whole place belongs to me. And Tobi. And the crows and seagulls. The clouds and the rain of last night are moving away, and the sun is making its shy - yet persistent - appearance. It is time of low tide, yet the waves make sure I know they are not too far away. Nothing like going to sleep, and waking up, with their sound in the background.
When I am present with these magical surroundings around me, it is easy to feel in-tune with myself and with the world; the world which David Abram calls the "more-than human community." Everything feels alive, co-existing, and participating in that mysterious game called life. In what seems to be a very appropriate setting, I am reading an interview with David Abram, author of a gem of a book, "The spell of the sensuous," conducted by Derrick Jensen. Here, on the beach and deeply immersed in Nature, it resonates strongly with me. What follows are a few excerpts, interspersed with some of my thoughts about us, humans.
"But the sleight-of-hand magician is one who can startle the senses out of the slumber induced by such obsolete ways of speaking [where we have been culturally brainwashed to speak of other animals' behaviour as "programmed" in their genes and nothing there is even remotely close to "consciousness"]. By making a coin vanish from one hand and appear under your foot, making a stone float between his hands or a silk scarf change its colours, the magician wakes up that old, animistic awareness of objects as living, animate entities with their own styles and secrets; he coaxes our senses to engage the strangeness of things once again."
After all, for the largest and longest part of our species' existence, humans have negotiated relationships with every aspect of our environments, exchanging possibilities with every form, entity, and being around us. All could communicate, though not in language (as we use right now), and we could understand and reply - whether with sounds, movements, thoughts, or minute shifts of mood. And from all of these relationships with our environment, all were collectively nourished.
"So much of research, today, seems motivated less by a sense of wonder than by a great will-to-control. It's a mark of immaturity, I think, a sign that our science is still in its adolescence. A more mature science would be motivated by a wish for a richer relationship, for deeper reciprocity with the world that we study."
"In our culture we speak about nature a great deal. Mature cultures speak to nature. They feel the rest of nature speak to them."
"If we want to actually start noticing where we are, and finding ourselves in a better relation with the rest of the earth around us, the simplest and most elegant way I know of is simply to stop insulting everything around us by speaking of them as passive objects, and instead begin to allow things their own spontaneity, their own life. As soon as you start speaking in such a way, you start noticing things a hell of a lot more. You suddenly find yourself in a dynamic relationship with all the things around you, including the air you breathe, the chair you are sitting on, the house in which you live. You find yourself negotiating relationships all the time. And you realize that ethics is not something to be practiced only with other humans - that all of our actions have ethical consequences."
An interesting point here is to look into our common literature. There, if we look carefully, we will notice a very subtle, yet all-prevalent taboo, preventing us from assigning any consciousness to any being other that human. It shows in the fact that there are very few books where an animal, for example, is a 'he' or a 'she.' For the most part, the animal (even the "man's best friend") is an 'it.' An object, and not a live being, with feelings, thoughts, desires, awareness. When such a perspective is adopted without ever questioning it, David's words ring even stronger.
"Once we reduce our input to everything being mediated by humans, we are essentially in an echo chamber, and we begin to hallucinate. We are sensory deprived, because we are not getting the variety of sensory stimulation we need."
And that becomes a form of solitary confinement, where we find ourselves cut off from a full range of relationships, existing in a world in which none of the other beings are acknowledged as sentient or aware. Which allows us the only possible relationships with other humans; after all, one cannot enter into a dynamic relationship with an object.
Yet, every human community is nested within a more-than-human community of beings.
"The animate earth around us - this land swept by the wind and pounded by rain - is far more lovely than any heaven we can dream up. But to awaken to this awesome beauty we must give up our spectator perspective, and the illusion of control that it gives us, in order to gaze out at the world from within its own depths. This is, alas, a terrifying move for most over-civilized folks today - because to renounce control is to notice that we are vulnerable: to suffering, to loss, to disease, to death. But also that we are vulnerable to purest joy. The wild world to which our senses give us access is an inexhaustibly beautiful realm, but it is hardly safe - it is filled with shifting shadows, and is plenty dangerous. ... We can't master it - never have, never will. What we can do is participate in the life of this breathing world far more deeply and creatively than we have these past few thousand years."
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
: in, and with, the world around us.
It is early morning, and I am sitting on the beach of Mussel Beach Campground, which is on the very West Coast of Vancouver Island, hidden behind Ucluelet, yet right on the ocean. While there are a few other people in the campsite, they are all asleep, and so it feels as though the whole place belongs to me. And Tobi. And the crows and seagulls. The clouds and the rain of last night are moving away, and the sun is making its shy - yet persistent - appearance. It is time of low tide, yet the waves make sure I know they are not too far away. Nothing like going to sleep, and waking up, with their sound in the background.
When I am present with these magical surroundings around me, it is easy to feel in-tune with myself and with the world; the world which David Abram calls the "more-than human community." Everything feels alive, co-existing, and participating in that mysterious game called life. In what seems to be a very appropriate setting, I am reading an interview with David Abram, author of a gem of a book, "The spell of the sensuous," conducted by Derrick Jensen. Here, on the beach and deeply immersed in Nature, it resonates strongly with me. What follows are a few excerpts, interspersed with some of my thoughts about us, humans.
"But the sleight-of-hand magician is one who can startle the senses out of the slumber induced by such obsolete ways of speaking [where we have been culturally brainwashed to speak of other animals' behaviour as "programmed" in their genes and nothing there is even remotely close to "consciousness"]. By making a coin vanish from one hand and appear under your foot, making a stone float between his hands or a silk scarf change its colours, the magician wakes up that old, animistic awareness of objects as living, animate entities with their own styles and secrets; he coaxes our senses to engage the strangeness of things once again."
After all, for the largest and longest part of our species' existence, humans have negotiated relationships with every aspect of our environments, exchanging possibilities with every form, entity, and being around us. All could communicate, though not in language (as we use right now), and we could understand and reply - whether with sounds, movements, thoughts, or minute shifts of mood. And from all of these relationships with our environment, all were collectively nourished.
"So much of research, today, seems motivated less by a sense of wonder than by a great will-to-control. It's a mark of immaturity, I think, a sign that our science is still in its adolescence. A more mature science would be motivated by a wish for a richer relationship, for deeper reciprocity with the world that we study."
"In our culture we speak about nature a great deal. Mature cultures speak to nature. They feel the rest of nature speak to them."
"If we want to actually start noticing where we are, and finding ourselves in a better relation with the rest of the earth around us, the simplest and most elegant way I know of is simply to stop insulting everything around us by speaking of them as passive objects, and instead begin to allow things their own spontaneity, their own life. As soon as you start speaking in such a way, you start noticing things a hell of a lot more. You suddenly find yourself in a dynamic relationship with all the things around you, including the air you breathe, the chair you are sitting on, the house in which you live. You find yourself negotiating relationships all the time. And you realize that ethics is not something to be practiced only with other humans - that all of our actions have ethical consequences."
An interesting point here is to look into our common literature. There, if we look carefully, we will notice a very subtle, yet all-prevalent taboo, preventing us from assigning any consciousness to any being other that human. It shows in the fact that there are very few books where an animal, for example, is a 'he' or a 'she.' For the most part, the animal (even the "man's best friend") is an 'it.' An object, and not a live being, with feelings, thoughts, desires, awareness. When such a perspective is adopted without ever questioning it, David's words ring even stronger.
"Once we reduce our input to everything being mediated by humans, we are essentially in an echo chamber, and we begin to hallucinate. We are sensory deprived, because we are not getting the variety of sensory stimulation we need."
And that becomes a form of solitary confinement, where we find ourselves cut off from a full range of relationships, existing in a world in which none of the other beings are acknowledged as sentient or aware. Which allows us the only possible relationships with other humans; after all, one cannot enter into a dynamic relationship with an object.
Yet, every human community is nested within a more-than-human community of beings.
"The animate earth around us - this land swept by the wind and pounded by rain - is far more lovely than any heaven we can dream up. But to awaken to this awesome beauty we must give up our spectator perspective, and the illusion of control that it gives us, in order to gaze out at the world from within its own depths. This is, alas, a terrifying move for most over-civilized folks today - because to renounce control is to notice that we are vulnerable: to suffering, to loss, to disease, to death. But also that we are vulnerable to purest joy. The wild world to which our senses give us access is an inexhaustibly beautiful realm, but it is hardly safe - it is filled with shifting shadows, and is plenty dangerous. ... We can't master it - never have, never will. What we can do is participate in the life of this breathing world far more deeply and creatively than we have these past few thousand years."
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
15 August 2009
Today’s Reflection is about a paradox, a duality
Today’s Reflection is about a paradox, a duality, and a way of being with no easy or immediate answers.
A beautiful summer day at the Hollyhock retreat on Cortes Island. Sun, Nature at its best, stunning Caribbean-looking beach, delicious vegetarian food. Seemingly, a little paradise.
A group of about a 115 social and environmental activists, visionaries, artists, and change agents have come together for a 5-day Summer Gathering event, to talk about what is going on in the world right now, to connect and reconnect, to find out what each other is doing to make a difference, and to explore ways to ensure we will have a future for the next generations to come. There is a lot of excitement in the air. People bring their passion, inspiration, and authenticity forward, through conversations, presentations, music, dance, and celebration of the Gathering.
:: “For as long as we've been around as humans, as wandering bands of nomads
:: or cave dwellers, we have sat together and shared experiences. We've
:: painted images on rock walls, recounted dreams and visions, told stories
:: of the day, and generally felt comforted to be in the world together. When
:: the world became fearsome, we came together. When the world called us to
:: explore its edges, we journeyed together. Whatever we did, we did it
:: together.” - Margaret Wheatley
Yet, not everything is rosy in this little paradise. Some of the conversations and presentations focused on the immediate dangers to the planet, mainly from global warming (though it is clearly only one of the many dangers we are currently facing). Some of the numbers are scary, and bring about a sense of immediate urgency of the need for radical, drastic, and painful shift in our lifestyles. Thus, together with the inspiration and the positive beat, the other side is strongly present as well - of hopelessness, despair, pain, and tears; all freely expressed, accepted, and embraced. There are times when words cannot adequately express such emotions, and a deep and painful cry, from the bottom of the soul, is the only way to capture the essence of what is going on inside.
:: “If you are not sure where you are Headed, make sure you know where you
:: are Hearted.” - Philip Clement
Yet another paradox, duality of a state of being - despair and hope, pain and joy, darkness and love, coexisting together within a person, and the gathering as a whole. There are no easy answers. Perhaps there are no answers at all. The need to be with both extremes, to accept the reality, to feel the magnitude of the despair, yet not let it stop or prevent anyone from doing what needs to be done is a lesson for many to embrace. Healing starts from acknowledging the pain first.
Despite, or perhaps because, of all that happened, I am coming back rejuvenated. I felt the pain and the despair (still do) of our current reality, which I think was one of the things that allowed me to feel the other extreme as well. Knowing that others have been there too, yet still continue doing their work, is an incredible gift that I hold as a precious and inspiring knowing.
John, over to you...
Imagine there's no heaven.
It's easy if you try.
No Hell below us;
Above us only sky.
Imagine all the people
Living for today....
Imagine there's no countries.
It isn't hard to do.
Nothing to kill or die for;
And no religion, too.
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
You may say I'm a dreamer,
But I'm not the only one.
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will be as one.
Imagine no possessions.
I wonder if you can.
No need for greed or hunger;
A brotherhood of man.
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world....
You may say I'm a dreamer,
But I'm not the only one.
I hope some day you will join us,
And the world will be as one.
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
A beautiful summer day at the Hollyhock retreat on Cortes Island. Sun, Nature at its best, stunning Caribbean-looking beach, delicious vegetarian food. Seemingly, a little paradise.
A group of about a 115 social and environmental activists, visionaries, artists, and change agents have come together for a 5-day Summer Gathering event, to talk about what is going on in the world right now, to connect and reconnect, to find out what each other is doing to make a difference, and to explore ways to ensure we will have a future for the next generations to come. There is a lot of excitement in the air. People bring their passion, inspiration, and authenticity forward, through conversations, presentations, music, dance, and celebration of the Gathering.
:: “For as long as we've been around as humans, as wandering bands of nomads
:: or cave dwellers, we have sat together and shared experiences. We've
:: painted images on rock walls, recounted dreams and visions, told stories
:: of the day, and generally felt comforted to be in the world together. When
:: the world became fearsome, we came together. When the world called us to
:: explore its edges, we journeyed together. Whatever we did, we did it
:: together.” - Margaret Wheatley
Yet, not everything is rosy in this little paradise. Some of the conversations and presentations focused on the immediate dangers to the planet, mainly from global warming (though it is clearly only one of the many dangers we are currently facing). Some of the numbers are scary, and bring about a sense of immediate urgency of the need for radical, drastic, and painful shift in our lifestyles. Thus, together with the inspiration and the positive beat, the other side is strongly present as well - of hopelessness, despair, pain, and tears; all freely expressed, accepted, and embraced. There are times when words cannot adequately express such emotions, and a deep and painful cry, from the bottom of the soul, is the only way to capture the essence of what is going on inside.
:: “If you are not sure where you are Headed, make sure you know where you
:: are Hearted.” - Philip Clement
Yet another paradox, duality of a state of being - despair and hope, pain and joy, darkness and love, coexisting together within a person, and the gathering as a whole. There are no easy answers. Perhaps there are no answers at all. The need to be with both extremes, to accept the reality, to feel the magnitude of the despair, yet not let it stop or prevent anyone from doing what needs to be done is a lesson for many to embrace. Healing starts from acknowledging the pain first.
Despite, or perhaps because, of all that happened, I am coming back rejuvenated. I felt the pain and the despair (still do) of our current reality, which I think was one of the things that allowed me to feel the other extreme as well. Knowing that others have been there too, yet still continue doing their work, is an incredible gift that I hold as a precious and inspiring knowing.
John, over to you...
Imagine there's no heaven.
It's easy if you try.
No Hell below us;
Above us only sky.
Imagine all the people
Living for today....
Imagine there's no countries.
It isn't hard to do.
Nothing to kill or die for;
And no religion, too.
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
You may say I'm a dreamer,
But I'm not the only one.
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will be as one.
Imagine no possessions.
I wonder if you can.
No need for greed or hunger;
A brotherhood of man.
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world....
You may say I'm a dreamer,
But I'm not the only one.
I hope some day you will join us,
And the world will be as one.
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
25 July 2009
SimonsReflectionsList@yahoogroups.com
: Today's Reflection is about solitude, surprises, and gratitude.
I woke up early this morning, before the sunrise. Thus, I had the opportunity to watch it, enjoying the birth of a new day, in pristine and peaceful solitude of a little secluded Williams Beach. Sitting and watching the ocean, thinking about the fact that I woke up several times through the night, just to watch the stars and listen to the sound of the waves, playing their endless sound all through the night. Sipping tea, thinking about everything and nothing in particular, with nobody around - except for Tobi, impatiently waiting for me to do something really important, like throw him a ball.
:: "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others." - Cicero
I was also thinking about an email that I received a couple of days prior to it, which is fitting into the theme. The email is about a reflection I wrote several years ago, yet it feels fitting to share it again. The email is from a person we will call C, who stumbled upon it when searching the Internet... for something...
It [the Reflection, which I am reposting below] was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm really not sure exactly why I'm writing this, except that after reading this I felt that you would understand and appreciate how I am feeling.
At a point in my life when I knew nothing of a spiritual path or journey, I had a very deep and abrupt spiritual experience. After that my life changed drastically. Just a few days after this experience, out of nowhere someone just knocked on my door and handed me a flier for a workshop, and there I was very blessed to meet a very gifted teacher. He was like a father to me, I studied with him, and lived with him for a few years. I traveled with him, and helped him teach and organize his workshops. Then very suddenly he "passed away". When they told me I thought they were playing a cruel joke, because he really was a "master". Though I was in shock, I let go of any attachment, and went on with my life. The thing is, that for the most part, for whatever reason, I have never had any experiences or connections like that since, and whenever I attend a class or workshop, they always seemed so "light" to me. So for years I just accepted that, and decided on a l
:: It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion;
:: it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great
:: man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect
:: sweetness the independence of solitude." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
And the reflection that sparked this email from C follows.
Solitude is not suffering through an evening with our own company but taking the time to make a good neighbor of our company. Many of us don't value our solitude. Many of us will do anything, even suffer bad company, to avoid our own company. To many of us solitude simply means we can't get a date. Not that we have made one with ourselves.
Coming to one's own company is something that many of us only arrive at kicking and screaming. If you asked people how they felt about an evening at home alone with themselves, a fair number of the honest ones would answer: "Boring." The dishonest answer in the main would be: "I would love an evening at home by myself but can't ever seem to find the time." Which translated means: "So boring I have no intention of finding the time."
Most of us move from the company of families, to dating, to relationships without ever passing through solitude. The experience of solitude is not taught in schools. What passes for solitude to most people is the sense of being left out, or not fitting in, or feeling alone in a crowd. Coming to the pleasure of one's own company is very different than personal or social estrangement.
Coming to the pleasure of one's own company isn't anti-social. In fact it is the opposite. Those who are not comfortable with their own company are never comfortable with others. Little makes us better company than being comfortable alone. Many of us looking for someone special in our life have never met the most special person in our lives. Ourselves. This doesn't mean we're more important than others. It does mean that we can't really be in a positive relationship with others until we've firmly established a relationship with our selves. There should be a rule that none of us can get engaged until after we've "gone steady" with ourselves.
Just for the record, coming to the pleasure of our own company isn't narcissism. The basis of narcissism is self-hate and low self-esteem. Needing to always tell ourselves how great we are is a neon sign flashing: "We don't think we're that great." In solitude we discover that other's can't treat us "right" until we're used to treating ourselves properly. No one else can say they love us and it mean something to us, until we can say it to ourselves. People try to take a shortcut on this all the time. And it doesn't work. No one else can give us what we don't think we deserve to give ourselves.
What people often say they want, or they feel is missing, in a relationship is honesty. But most of the lurid and gossipy forms of dishonesty are generally causally preceded by an altogether different form of dishonesty. People who have no idea who they really are or people who haven't accepted themselves cannot be in lasting relationships with partners who they haven't accepted for who they are and who themselves have no idea who they are. This kind of dance has everybody stepping on everybody's toes. Sadly this isn't about bad people but people who simply haven't ever spent enough time in their own company. The world would be a better place if we spent less time calling others liars and spent more time taking an honest look at ourselves.
"A good marriage," wrote the poet Ranier Maria Rilke, "is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude." Many of us come to relationships without our solitude intact. Growing solitude in a relationship is very different from growing to feel alone in a relationship. Relationships strangle the participants if our need for solitude is not allowed to breathe. This is not an argument for separate vacations but the simple respect of each other and each other's space in time and space.
A partner who wants you to grow into whoever you are becoming has a much better chance of being your partner when you get there. A partner who doesn't shy from not meeting your expectation and is more interested in meeting their own expectation is a partner you can expect to be honest. A partner who isn't afraid of being alone, or being left alone, is not in a relationship out of fear but out of choice. And is a whole different kind of partner.
When we are a friend to our self we can move into real friendships. And not until.
Friendship first requires self-friendship and to be a guardian of another's solitude require us to first stand guard over our own. Friends and lovers who share solitude have the pleasure of both company and self. Nice company if you can get it.
Take a moment to learn how rich you are. Value your own company. Come to the pleasure of your own company. Know the wealth of knowing you. What is it in you that makes you YOU?
:: I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from
:: the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange,
:: I am ungrateful to these teachers." - Kahlil Gibran
Have a beautiful day, inside and out.
Simon
I woke up early this morning, before the sunrise. Thus, I had the opportunity to watch it, enjoying the birth of a new day, in pristine and peaceful solitude of a little secluded Williams Beach. Sitting and watching the ocean, thinking about the fact that I woke up several times through the night, just to watch the stars and listen to the sound of the waves, playing their endless sound all through the night. Sipping tea, thinking about everything and nothing in particular, with nobody around - except for Tobi, impatiently waiting for me to do something really important, like throw him a ball.
:: "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others." - Cicero
I was also thinking about an email that I received a couple of days prior to it, which is fitting into the theme. The email is about a reflection I wrote several years ago, yet it feels fitting to share it again. The email is from a person we will call C, who stumbled upon it when searching the Internet... for something...
It [the Reflection, which I am reposting below] was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm really not sure exactly why I'm writing this, except that after reading this I felt that you would understand and appreciate how I am feeling.
At a point in my life when I knew nothing of a spiritual path or journey, I had a very deep and abrupt spiritual experience. After that my life changed drastically. Just a few days after this experience, out of nowhere someone just knocked on my door and handed me a flier for a workshop, and there I was very blessed to meet a very gifted teacher. He was like a father to me, I studied with him, and lived with him for a few years. I traveled with him, and helped him teach and organize his workshops. Then very suddenly he "passed away". When they told me I thought they were playing a cruel joke, because he really was a "master". Though I was in shock, I let go of any attachment, and went on with my life. The thing is, that for the most part, for whatever reason, I have never had any experiences or connections like that since, and whenever I attend a class or workshop, they always seemed so "light" to me. So for years I just accepted that, and decided on a l
:: It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion;
:: it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great
:: man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect
:: sweetness the independence of solitude." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
And the reflection that sparked this email from C follows.
Solitude is not suffering through an evening with our own company but taking the time to make a good neighbor of our company. Many of us don't value our solitude. Many of us will do anything, even suffer bad company, to avoid our own company. To many of us solitude simply means we can't get a date. Not that we have made one with ourselves.
Coming to one's own company is something that many of us only arrive at kicking and screaming. If you asked people how they felt about an evening at home alone with themselves, a fair number of the honest ones would answer: "Boring." The dishonest answer in the main would be: "I would love an evening at home by myself but can't ever seem to find the time." Which translated means: "So boring I have no intention of finding the time."
Most of us move from the company of families, to dating, to relationships without ever passing through solitude. The experience of solitude is not taught in schools. What passes for solitude to most people is the sense of being left out, or not fitting in, or feeling alone in a crowd. Coming to the pleasure of one's own company is very different than personal or social estrangement.
Coming to the pleasure of one's own company isn't anti-social. In fact it is the opposite. Those who are not comfortable with their own company are never comfortable with others. Little makes us better company than being comfortable alone. Many of us looking for someone special in our life have never met the most special person in our lives. Ourselves. This doesn't mean we're more important than others. It does mean that we can't really be in a positive relationship with others until we've firmly established a relationship with our selves. There should be a rule that none of us can get engaged until after we've "gone steady" with ourselves.
Just for the record, coming to the pleasure of our own company isn't narcissism. The basis of narcissism is self-hate and low self-esteem. Needing to always tell ourselves how great we are is a neon sign flashing: "We don't think we're that great." In solitude we discover that other's can't treat us "right" until we're used to treating ourselves properly. No one else can say they love us and it mean something to us, until we can say it to ourselves. People try to take a shortcut on this all the time. And it doesn't work. No one else can give us what we don't think we deserve to give ourselves.
What people often say they want, or they feel is missing, in a relationship is honesty. But most of the lurid and gossipy forms of dishonesty are generally causally preceded by an altogether different form of dishonesty. People who have no idea who they really are or people who haven't accepted themselves cannot be in lasting relationships with partners who they haven't accepted for who they are and who themselves have no idea who they are. This kind of dance has everybody stepping on everybody's toes. Sadly this isn't about bad people but people who simply haven't ever spent enough time in their own company. The world would be a better place if we spent less time calling others liars and spent more time taking an honest look at ourselves.
"A good marriage," wrote the poet Ranier Maria Rilke, "is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude." Many of us come to relationships without our solitude intact. Growing solitude in a relationship is very different from growing to feel alone in a relationship. Relationships strangle the participants if our need for solitude is not allowed to breathe. This is not an argument for separate vacations but the simple respect of each other and each other's space in time and space.
A partner who wants you to grow into whoever you are becoming has a much better chance of being your partner when you get there. A partner who doesn't shy from not meeting your expectation and is more interested in meeting their own expectation is a partner you can expect to be honest. A partner who isn't afraid of being alone, or being left alone, is not in a relationship out of fear but out of choice. And is a whole different kind of partner.
When we are a friend to our self we can move into real friendships. And not until.
Friendship first requires self-friendship and to be a guardian of another's solitude require us to first stand guard over our own. Friends and lovers who share solitude have the pleasure of both company and self. Nice company if you can get it.
Take a moment to learn how rich you are. Value your own company. Come to the pleasure of your own company. Know the wealth of knowing you. What is it in you that makes you YOU?
:: I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from
:: the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange,
:: I am ungrateful to these teachers." - Kahlil Gibran
Have a beautiful day, inside and out.
Simon
30 May 2009
Simon's Reflection
: Today’s Reflection is about the impermanence of our lives.
"As the morning tide recedes at a beach near Christchurch, New Zealand, Peter Donnelly arrives to go to work. Peter the Sand Dancer, with a simple stick and a rake (and a not-so-simple gift of vision), paints elaborate works of art in the sand while hundreds watch in awe and appreciation."
http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=1499
I remember going to do a 10-day vipassana meditation retreat, quite a few years ago. 10 days of what felt like endless sitting, and most of it in silence. This is where I encountered the concept of “anicca,” which expresses the Buddhist notion that every conditioned existence, without exception, is inconstant and in flux, and because everything is impermanent, attachment to them is futile and leads to one thing only. Suffering. At the time, while it felt kinda true, it was still a nice theory from a faraway land. I’d like to think that I wizened since, a little, and can understand it a bit better now. Experiences are a wonderful teacher.
:: "In the depth of Winter I finally learned that within me there
:: lay an invincible Summer." - Albert Camus
The circle of life
An endless flow of impermanence.
Anicca in action.
Beginning follows ending
Which leads to another beginning.
Which is which?
Drawing in the sand
A masterpiece of effort and beauty.
Here comes a wave.
A new thing
Becomes familiar with time.
Can it be new again?
Apparently, you cannot
Put the same hand in the same river.
Not twice. Not even once.
The I Ching has a hexagram that talks about the “difficulty in the beginning.” It is when the chaos and confusion around, or within, is actually a much needed jolt. Some aspects of one’s life are being shaken up, and the outgrown is falling away. A new birth emerges and increases one’s capacity to endure difficult transitions. The I Ching is also being gracious enough to mention the fact that, in the interim, one has the right to feel vulnerable and shaky. Much of what was once a source of security and protection is being buffered to the point where it is difficult to know what you want, which way to move, or what to expect; doubts and questions are present in many areas of life where once there was solid and unshakable certainty. Great! Luckily, it is a part of the process, of dismantling the old to clear way for the new. Onward, gently, slowly, with no rush. A new birth is emerging...
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
"As the morning tide recedes at a beach near Christchurch, New Zealand, Peter Donnelly arrives to go to work. Peter the Sand Dancer, with a simple stick and a rake (and a not-so-simple gift of vision), paints elaborate works of art in the sand while hundreds watch in awe and appreciation."
http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=1499
I remember going to do a 10-day vipassana meditation retreat, quite a few years ago. 10 days of what felt like endless sitting, and most of it in silence. This is where I encountered the concept of “anicca,” which expresses the Buddhist notion that every conditioned existence, without exception, is inconstant and in flux, and because everything is impermanent, attachment to them is futile and leads to one thing only. Suffering. At the time, while it felt kinda true, it was still a nice theory from a faraway land. I’d like to think that I wizened since, a little, and can understand it a bit better now. Experiences are a wonderful teacher.
:: "In the depth of Winter I finally learned that within me there
:: lay an invincible Summer." - Albert Camus
The circle of life
An endless flow of impermanence.
Anicca in action.
Beginning follows ending
Which leads to another beginning.
Which is which?
Drawing in the sand
A masterpiece of effort and beauty.
Here comes a wave.
A new thing
Becomes familiar with time.
Can it be new again?
Apparently, you cannot
Put the same hand in the same river.
Not twice. Not even once.
The I Ching has a hexagram that talks about the “difficulty in the beginning.” It is when the chaos and confusion around, or within, is actually a much needed jolt. Some aspects of one’s life are being shaken up, and the outgrown is falling away. A new birth emerges and increases one’s capacity to endure difficult transitions. The I Ching is also being gracious enough to mention the fact that, in the interim, one has the right to feel vulnerable and shaky. Much of what was once a source of security and protection is being buffered to the point where it is difficult to know what you want, which way to move, or what to expect; doubts and questions are present in many areas of life where once there was solid and unshakable certainty. Great! Luckily, it is a part of the process, of dismantling the old to clear way for the new. Onward, gently, slowly, with no rush. A new birth is emerging...
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
28 April 2009
Simon's Reflections
: Today’s Reflection is about taking action. Or not.
Margaret Wheatley tells the story that happened sometime in the 70ies in Gdansk, Poland. There, about a dozen workers started a conversation about the tough and inhumane working conditions in the shipyards, and about what might it look like if things were different. The conversation spread, and within a month, about One Million people were engaged. They closed the shipyards and effectively shut down the country. The Solidarity movement was born. It is important to note that this was time before the internet, cell pones, and text messages. Yes, there was such a time.
In a way, the story of this Reflection is telling of the topic itself. I have been sitting on it for a week, planning and thinking and wanting to write and complete it. And it somehow didn’t happen. Flu. Unexpected meetings. A fireplace that needs to be replaced. Another something. And then one more. Somehow, something managed to get in the way, squeeze itself ahead of the to-do line, and grab my attention. Not that it was that important, when I think of the things I really wanted to do.
:: “To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the
:: fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion,
:: sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex
:: history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our
:: capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places -- and there
:: are so many -- where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the
:: energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a
:: world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however a small way, we
:: don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite
:: succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live,
:: in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”
:: - Howard Zinn
For instance, the elections in British Columbia are coming up. I love this province and care about it; I also care about the fact that the current government and Gordon Campbell are planning things that will unequivocally ruin the future here. For instance, by selling all our rivers and the power they will generate to private companies, mostly from the US, which (based on NAFTA) once we do, we will never be able to get back; the following clip portrays the specifics of this so-called plan: http://saveourrivers.tv/powerplay_player5.html . While the solution proposed there is not much better (the BC Greens are the only ones with any long-term viable alternative), but at least we will still have BC Hydro and our Canadian control over our natural resources. So I wanted to do something about it.
Another thing I care about is my health and wellness, and the ability to have easy access to alternative and natural medicine. Well, there is Bill C-6, which is the old Bill C-51 and C-52 – with a new name. While it has a fancy name of Consumer Protection Act, one should not be misled by the name. There is a beautiful and very informative clip ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7_0HlCwb8A ) which explains what it can really do – and it is Bad. Really Bad. Here too, I wanted to do something, because, hey, I care and I can.
Yet, somehow, everything else was urgent. Or felt as such.
:: “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” - Einstein
I keep thinking about a simple little matrix of categories, of urgent/important/non-urgent/non-important categories, in all its variations. It seems that my attention often floats towards the the urgent & non-important, at the expense of the things I really need to be focusing on – the non-urgent & important. And I wonder about how, and when, will I learn the difference, and how will I make it work in my life. I don’t think I know it yet...
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
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25 April 2009
Voice Dialogue
Voice Dialogue Tips
April 2009
Email us: jcoroneos@bigpond.com
Web Site: www.bodymindinformation.com
Tell A Friend
Dear Joyce,
Welcome again to Hal & Sidra's Voice Dialogue Tips.
1. This month we continue our series of articles titled " The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship: Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines "
Challenge 3: Other Relationships in Fact and Fantasy.
2. We also have a new video on You Tube, a snippet from Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue DVD Series, which is about Dreams. To watch this video, visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8eEXm0MehU
The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship:
Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines
(an excerpt from Dr Hal & Sidra Stone's book titled "Partnering")
Challenge 3:
Other Relationships in Fact and Fantasy
There was a period in the late 1960s and early 1970s when people realized that they could not expect a single romantic or sexual relationship to meet all their needs. This was a reaction against earlier over idealized expectations of marriages “made in heaven” and dreams of “happily ever after” when all that was needed was one Cinderella and one Prince Charming. It was a time of cultural revolution during which there was a good deal of experimentation with extramarital relationships and deep extramarital friendships.
Quite often this worked beautifully for a while. Each partner felt more alive and fulfilled. They brought back new energy to the primary relationship and the linkage between the partners intensified. But what we noticed during those years was that, sooner or later, the linkage between the partners began to dissipate as the linkage to outsiders increased in intensity. Most of the time the primary linkage finally shifted from the partner to someone else.
As normal, ordinary human beings, we can expect to feel attractions to people other than our partners. This is totally natural. It just means that we are alive and that our hormones are functioning properly . There is a great deal to be learned from these attractions if we do not panic about them or feel too guilty.
There was definitely a kernel of truth in the thinking of the sixties and seventies. One person does not hold everything; therefore one relationship cannot hold everything. We have our primary selves and we have our disowned selves. In our relationships there are selves that are acceptable or primary and others that both partners disown.
If you think about what we said earlier regarding disowned selves (see chapter 2), you get the picture of what happens in relationship. Our disowned selves, and the disowned selves of our partners, are the selves that we find fascinating in others. These are the selves that exert the fatal attractions that cause us to drop the linkage to our partners and develop a primary linkage elsewhere . This linkage does not have to become sexual in order to challenge the relationship. It just needs to be primary.
Sometimes this is not even a linkage to an actual person, sexual or otherwise. Sometimes it is a preoccupation with a fantasy. One of the partners develops a strong fantasy life and disappears into it. This can be a fantasy about another person, about an imagined person, or a fantasy about a different kind of life. The primary linkage shifts from the relationship or the partnering to this fantasy or this fantasy character. For some people, this can be as strong an involvement as an involvement with another person and it can disrupt the linkage between partners as much as an actual affair. Just as in an actual affair, the primary linkage has been shifted. Here, the primary linkage is to the fantasy rather than to the partner. Where does this linkage go? Just as in an affair or an attraction, the linkage is always to a person or a situation that is carrying a disowned self.
What can be done to reestablish the linkage within the partnership? If you follow our thinking, look for the disowned selves that are operating. What is it that is irresistible about this person who is not your partner? Where does this person carry either your disowned self or that of your partner? You can actually use this attraction as a teacher and either you or your partner can claim the disowned self so that this irresistible attraction becomes more resistible and your primary linkage returns to the relationship.
What does this look like? Perhaps you and your partner have become rather complacent and predictable. Your routine is safe and comfortable because each of you has disowned your spontaneity and wildness. We might expect that someone who is more spontaneous or unpredictable would be very attractive to one or both of you. If you take this attraction as a sign that you need a bit of fresh air and that your lives need a bit of change, you may be able to incorporate this change into your relationship rather than changing relationships.
These missing pieces that we find irresistible in others can be almost anything. Each of us is different. The person who carries this attraction can be a rebel or a conservative, sexual or proper, a professional or a homebody, fiscally responsible or fiscally impulsive, cautious or spontaneous, thoughtful or selfish, powerful or sensitive, passionate or cool, sophisticated or simple. The list goes on forever, but we just wanted to give you a picture of the variety of possibilities.
Think of the people in your life who exert a fascination over you and who pull your energetic linkage toward themselves and away from your partner. What is it that they carry that is missing in you, your partner, or the relationship? How might you bring more balance into your life and into your relationship by including some of this missing energy?
The next Challenge to Relationship titled "Friends", will be presented in upcoming Voice Dialogue Tips.
You can read past tips by clicking here
For more information about Voice Dialogue DVD Series, visit www.bodymindinformation.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Send these Voice Dialogue Tips to Friends:
If you would like to send these tips on to any of your friends, please forward them by email. You can also advise your friends at www.bodymindinformation.com/tell-a-friend.php If you are able to help us do this, we would like to thank you by sending you a FREE REPORT titled: Voice Dialogue: A Guide To Great Relationships.
They can also register to receive future copies on our web site, which has a subscriber's panel, or they can email jcoroneos@bigpond.com directly. We will not be giving any of the addresses we receive to anyone else or any other organization. At any point you can stop receiving them - just click on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.
How To Change Your Email details:
If you need to change your email address, the quickest and surest way is this: click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this page. Then go to the web site www.bodymindinformation.com and resubscribe with your new address. If you find your name spelt incorrectly, or have no name mentioned at the beginning of this letter, then email us on jcoroneos@bigpond.com and we will change it.
Warmly,
Dr John Coroneos
Medical Doctor
Producer of The Voice Dialogue Series
Copyright Wiseone Edutainment P/L
No part of Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue tips may be reproduced, in any form, without the written permission of Drs Hal and Sidra Stone except for forwarding an issue, in its entirety and complete with copyright information, to a friend.
April 2009
Email us: jcoroneos@bigpond.com
Web Site: www.bodymindinformation.com
Tell A Friend
Dear Joyce,
Welcome again to Hal & Sidra's Voice Dialogue Tips.
1. This month we continue our series of articles titled " The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship: Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines "
Challenge 3: Other Relationships in Fact and Fantasy.
2. We also have a new video on You Tube, a snippet from Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue DVD Series, which is about Dreams. To watch this video, visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8eEXm0MehU
The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship:
Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines
(an excerpt from Dr Hal & Sidra Stone's book titled "Partnering")
Challenge 3:
Other Relationships in Fact and Fantasy
There was a period in the late 1960s and early 1970s when people realized that they could not expect a single romantic or sexual relationship to meet all their needs. This was a reaction against earlier over idealized expectations of marriages “made in heaven” and dreams of “happily ever after” when all that was needed was one Cinderella and one Prince Charming. It was a time of cultural revolution during which there was a good deal of experimentation with extramarital relationships and deep extramarital friendships.
Quite often this worked beautifully for a while. Each partner felt more alive and fulfilled. They brought back new energy to the primary relationship and the linkage between the partners intensified. But what we noticed during those years was that, sooner or later, the linkage between the partners began to dissipate as the linkage to outsiders increased in intensity. Most of the time the primary linkage finally shifted from the partner to someone else.
As normal, ordinary human beings, we can expect to feel attractions to people other than our partners. This is totally natural. It just means that we are alive and that our hormones are functioning properly . There is a great deal to be learned from these attractions if we do not panic about them or feel too guilty.
There was definitely a kernel of truth in the thinking of the sixties and seventies. One person does not hold everything; therefore one relationship cannot hold everything. We have our primary selves and we have our disowned selves. In our relationships there are selves that are acceptable or primary and others that both partners disown.
If you think about what we said earlier regarding disowned selves (see chapter 2), you get the picture of what happens in relationship. Our disowned selves, and the disowned selves of our partners, are the selves that we find fascinating in others. These are the selves that exert the fatal attractions that cause us to drop the linkage to our partners and develop a primary linkage elsewhere . This linkage does not have to become sexual in order to challenge the relationship. It just needs to be primary.
Sometimes this is not even a linkage to an actual person, sexual or otherwise. Sometimes it is a preoccupation with a fantasy. One of the partners develops a strong fantasy life and disappears into it. This can be a fantasy about another person, about an imagined person, or a fantasy about a different kind of life. The primary linkage shifts from the relationship or the partnering to this fantasy or this fantasy character. For some people, this can be as strong an involvement as an involvement with another person and it can disrupt the linkage between partners as much as an actual affair. Just as in an actual affair, the primary linkage has been shifted. Here, the primary linkage is to the fantasy rather than to the partner. Where does this linkage go? Just as in an affair or an attraction, the linkage is always to a person or a situation that is carrying a disowned self.
What can be done to reestablish the linkage within the partnership? If you follow our thinking, look for the disowned selves that are operating. What is it that is irresistible about this person who is not your partner? Where does this person carry either your disowned self or that of your partner? You can actually use this attraction as a teacher and either you or your partner can claim the disowned self so that this irresistible attraction becomes more resistible and your primary linkage returns to the relationship.
What does this look like? Perhaps you and your partner have become rather complacent and predictable. Your routine is safe and comfortable because each of you has disowned your spontaneity and wildness. We might expect that someone who is more spontaneous or unpredictable would be very attractive to one or both of you. If you take this attraction as a sign that you need a bit of fresh air and that your lives need a bit of change, you may be able to incorporate this change into your relationship rather than changing relationships.
These missing pieces that we find irresistible in others can be almost anything. Each of us is different. The person who carries this attraction can be a rebel or a conservative, sexual or proper, a professional or a homebody, fiscally responsible or fiscally impulsive, cautious or spontaneous, thoughtful or selfish, powerful or sensitive, passionate or cool, sophisticated or simple. The list goes on forever, but we just wanted to give you a picture of the variety of possibilities.
Think of the people in your life who exert a fascination over you and who pull your energetic linkage toward themselves and away from your partner. What is it that they carry that is missing in you, your partner, or the relationship? How might you bring more balance into your life and into your relationship by including some of this missing energy?
The next Challenge to Relationship titled "Friends", will be presented in upcoming Voice Dialogue Tips.
You can read past tips by clicking here
For more information about Voice Dialogue DVD Series, visit www.bodymindinformation.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Send these Voice Dialogue Tips to Friends:
If you would like to send these tips on to any of your friends, please forward them by email. You can also advise your friends at www.bodymindinformation.com/tell-a-friend.php If you are able to help us do this, we would like to thank you by sending you a FREE REPORT titled: Voice Dialogue: A Guide To Great Relationships.
They can also register to receive future copies on our web site, which has a subscriber's panel, or they can email jcoroneos@bigpond.com directly. We will not be giving any of the addresses we receive to anyone else or any other organization. At any point you can stop receiving them - just click on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.
How To Change Your Email details:
If you need to change your email address, the quickest and surest way is this: click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this page. Then go to the web site www.bodymindinformation.com and resubscribe with your new address. If you find your name spelt incorrectly, or have no name mentioned at the beginning of this letter, then email us on jcoroneos@bigpond.com and we will change it.
Warmly,
Dr John Coroneos
Medical Doctor
Producer of The Voice Dialogue Series
Copyright Wiseone Edutainment P/L
No part of Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue tips may be reproduced, in any form, without the written permission of Drs Hal and Sidra Stone except for forwarding an issue, in its entirety and complete with copyright information, to a friend.
07 April 2009
SimonsReflections
: Today’s Reflection is about gifts.
Several years ago, I was going to be away for about a week, and a friend wanted to stay at my place. Given that she was very generous to let me use her guestroom regularly (as I have been traveling to her area monthly for business), I was only delighted to reciprocate and let her use my place.
I came back home after she has already left, and encountered a few surprises. I could live with a dishwasher filled with unwashed dishes, mess at my computer desk (from trying to connect and make work a computer that was phased out and on the way to retirement), and a few other little things of a similar nature. The real problem was that my friend bought me a beautiful little framed picture, as a gift, and hang it on the wall – for me to see.
This last part sent me over the edge.
:: “The nourishment [of giving a gift] flows both ways. When we have fed the gift
:: with our labor and generosity, it grows and feeds us in return. The gift and its
:: bearers share a spirit which is kept alive by its motion among them, and which
:: in turn keeps them both alive.” - Lewis Hyde, “The Gift”
I did like the picture; this was not the problem. The problem was the way the gift was given, which I translated as “Here is a gift for you, Simon, and this is how it is to be used – in your place. Let me tell you where to hang it.”
Giving a gift, to me, means relinquishing all control as to how it will be used by the receiver of it. Letting it go, completely. As I am now finishing a 2-week trip, heading home, the whole notion of gifts comes to mind – as I was bringing some with me, and receiving others here. A true gift is one where there are no strings attached. A true gift is measured by its non-material “value” - which is a strange word to use in such context; perhaps “contribution” is a more fitting description of what we experience when we receive something from another. When a true gift is received, it moves one’s heart, revives the soul, delights the senses, and we end up feeling deeply touched.
:: “Gifts do not bring us attachment unless they move us. Manners or social pressure
:: may oblige us to those for whom we feel no true affection, but neither obligation
:: nor civility leads to lasting unions. It is when someone’s gifts stir us that we
:: are brought close, and what moves us, beyond the gift itself, is the promise (or
:: the fact) of transformation, friendship, and love.” - Lewis Hyde, “The Gift”
In this way, it almost doesn’t matter what the gift is anyway; what matters is that someone thought of us and chose to gift us with something. And, if the person has no attachment to what I am supposed to do with their gift, then there is also no problem with me passing it along to another; it perishes for the person who gives it away. It does bring in the notion that gifting is a process and a flow, moving the authentic experience of gifting on and on, never stopping, always nourishing and delighting all those involved.
:: “The gift is to the giver, and comes back most to him – it cannot fail...”
:: - Walt Whitman
And, as I write these words, I am thinking that it might be time to take the picture off the wall and gift it on.
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
Several years ago, I was going to be away for about a week, and a friend wanted to stay at my place. Given that she was very generous to let me use her guestroom regularly (as I have been traveling to her area monthly for business), I was only delighted to reciprocate and let her use my place.
I came back home after she has already left, and encountered a few surprises. I could live with a dishwasher filled with unwashed dishes, mess at my computer desk (from trying to connect and make work a computer that was phased out and on the way to retirement), and a few other little things of a similar nature. The real problem was that my friend bought me a beautiful little framed picture, as a gift, and hang it on the wall – for me to see.
This last part sent me over the edge.
:: “The nourishment [of giving a gift] flows both ways. When we have fed the gift
:: with our labor and generosity, it grows and feeds us in return. The gift and its
:: bearers share a spirit which is kept alive by its motion among them, and which
:: in turn keeps them both alive.” - Lewis Hyde, “The Gift”
I did like the picture; this was not the problem. The problem was the way the gift was given, which I translated as “Here is a gift for you, Simon, and this is how it is to be used – in your place. Let me tell you where to hang it.”
Giving a gift, to me, means relinquishing all control as to how it will be used by the receiver of it. Letting it go, completely. As I am now finishing a 2-week trip, heading home, the whole notion of gifts comes to mind – as I was bringing some with me, and receiving others here. A true gift is one where there are no strings attached. A true gift is measured by its non-material “value” - which is a strange word to use in such context; perhaps “contribution” is a more fitting description of what we experience when we receive something from another. When a true gift is received, it moves one’s heart, revives the soul, delights the senses, and we end up feeling deeply touched.
:: “Gifts do not bring us attachment unless they move us. Manners or social pressure
:: may oblige us to those for whom we feel no true affection, but neither obligation
:: nor civility leads to lasting unions. It is when someone’s gifts stir us that we
:: are brought close, and what moves us, beyond the gift itself, is the promise (or
:: the fact) of transformation, friendship, and love.” - Lewis Hyde, “The Gift”
In this way, it almost doesn’t matter what the gift is anyway; what matters is that someone thought of us and chose to gift us with something. And, if the person has no attachment to what I am supposed to do with their gift, then there is also no problem with me passing it along to another; it perishes for the person who gives it away. It does bring in the notion that gifting is a process and a flow, moving the authentic experience of gifting on and on, never stopping, always nourishing and delighting all those involved.
:: “The gift is to the giver, and comes back most to him – it cannot fail...”
:: - Walt Whitman
And, as I write these words, I am thinking that it might be time to take the picture off the wall and gift it on.
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
25 March 2009
Voice Dialogue Tips
March 2009
Email us: jcoroneos@bigpond.com
Web Site: http://www.bodymindinformation.com
Dear Joyce,
This month we continue our series of articles titled " The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship: Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines "
The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship:
Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines
(an excerpt from Dr Hal & Sidra Stone's book titled "Partnering")
Challenge 2: Work
Our work is very important. It gives us power and money and keeps us safe in the world. It helps us to define ourselves. Hopefully, if we give it enough attention, our work will always be there to support us and we do not have to worry about our work abandoning or divorcing us. Most important, as long as we have our work, we do not have to think very much about our vulnerability. Anything that helps us to deal with our vulnerability, without us having to face it directly, is extremely attractive.
Is it any wonder that many of us develop a primary linkage to our work and relegate our relationship to second place? When we feel vulnerable deep down inside and we do not want to know about it, going to work can make us feel better. At work, we make a difference. We are needed. We are wanted. Here we have mastery, or at least we can work toward mastery. This is extremely reassuring. Life feels safe and structured and our priorities are set for us. We know what is expected and we are able to do the right thing. Add to all this, the fact that we are earning money and contributing to the financial security of both our inner and outer children and you have a total win-win situation.
Unfortunately, the more our linkage is to work, the less energy there is left for relationship. Since the lifeblood of any relationship is linkage, this is not good for the relationship! The tendency to link to work rather than to one's partner is a major challenge to relationship.
Traditionally, men have buried themselves in work when they felt vulnerable or their emotions became too uncomfortable. Now women, too, have this marvelous option available. Many women have learned to drop the linkage in the relationship and shift their energies to their work. When the going gets rough for a two-career couple and each partner has satisfying work, there is a strong temptation for the partners to shift the primary linkage from their relationship to their work. As this happens, each feels abandoned by the other and each links even more intensely to work.
This linkage may be to the work itself, to the clients they serve, or to their coworkers. This linkage is frequently to a particular person at work, an understanding coworker or a particularly supportive assistant. Traditionally it was the man's secretary. This may or may not become a full-blown extramarital relationship.
We find this can be a particularly subtle challenge for people who work together. For instance, it is very easy for the two of us to get so involved in a project that we lose contact with each other. We may both get so interested in our writing that our linkage goes to the book rather than to one another. It may look as though we are still in a relationship because we are both linked to the same object, but we are not. Not really. We are like two oxen yoked to the same cart. We are pulling together and doing a great job, but we have blinders on and we no longer see each other. We just see the road ahead. When this happens, there is a loss of intimacy. We do not feel good and we do not know why.
There are many times in life when being linked to work looks like a natural and necessary move. This is particularly true when there are financial pressures, either real or imagined. One or both partners will deal with this underlying vulnerability in the most seemingly sensible fashion by working harder and earning more money. This is not a problem if the connection between the partners stays strong and intimate. Usually, however, at times like these the truly strong connection switches to work and the partners gradually and unobtrusively drift apart until they are almost like strangers to one another.
Of course, there are times when any of us will feel better at work than at home, but think about it. Over all, where do you feel better, with your partner or with your work?
To deal with this challenge, see what you can do about putting a limit on the amount of time you spend at work or thinking about work. Set boundaries. Try to set realistic time limits that you can meet; for instance, no work or work-related activity between 8:30 P.M. and 7:00 A.M. This will probably be extremely difficult to do at first. To help you do this, keep a notepad with you so that when you have a work-related thought during your off-hours, you can write it down and not think about it until the next work session. For instance, you remember that you should send an E-mail to double check on yesterday's order. Write it down on your notepad and put it away until tomorrow. Otherwise you will probably spend a great deal of time (1) trying not to think this thought and (2) fearing that you will forget to send the E-mail.
The next Challenge to Relationship is titled "Other Relationships in Fact and Fantasy" , and will be presented in upcoming Voice Dialogue Tips.
For more information on Voice Dialogue, visit http://www.bodymindinformation.com
To read previous Voice Dialogue tips, visit http://www.bodymindinformation.com/voice-dialogue-tips-archive.htm
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Send these Voice Dialogue Tips to Friends:
If you would like to send these tips on to any of your friends, please forward them by email. You can also advise your friends at http://www.bodymindinformation.com/tell-a-friend.php If you are able to help us do this, we would like to thank you by sending you a FREE REPORT titled: Voice Dialogue: A Guide To Great Relationships.
They can also register to receive future copies on our web site, which has a subscriber's panel, or they can email jcoroneos@bigpond.com directly. We will not be giving any of the addresses we receive to anyone else or any other organization. At any point you can stop receiving them - just click on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.
How To Change Your Email details:
If you need to change your email address, the quickest and surest way is this: click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this page. Then go to the web site http://www.bodymindinformation.com and resubscribe with your new address. If you find your name spelt incorrectly, or have no name mentioned at the beginning of this letter, then email us on jcoroneos@bigpond.com and we will change it.
Warmly,
Dr John Coroneos
Medical Doctor
Producer of The Voice Dialogue Series
Copyright Wiseone Edutainment P/L
No part of Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue tips may be reproduced, in any form, without the written permission of Drs Hal and Sidra Stone except for forwarding an issue, in its entirety and complete with copyright information, to a friend.
Email us: jcoroneos@bigpond.com
Web Site: http://www.bodymindinformation.com
Dear Joyce,
This month we continue our series of articles titled " The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship: Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines "
The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship:
Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines
(an excerpt from Dr Hal & Sidra Stone's book titled "Partnering")
Challenge 2: Work
Our work is very important. It gives us power and money and keeps us safe in the world. It helps us to define ourselves. Hopefully, if we give it enough attention, our work will always be there to support us and we do not have to worry about our work abandoning or divorcing us. Most important, as long as we have our work, we do not have to think very much about our vulnerability. Anything that helps us to deal with our vulnerability, without us having to face it directly, is extremely attractive.
Is it any wonder that many of us develop a primary linkage to our work and relegate our relationship to second place? When we feel vulnerable deep down inside and we do not want to know about it, going to work can make us feel better. At work, we make a difference. We are needed. We are wanted. Here we have mastery, or at least we can work toward mastery. This is extremely reassuring. Life feels safe and structured and our priorities are set for us. We know what is expected and we are able to do the right thing. Add to all this, the fact that we are earning money and contributing to the financial security of both our inner and outer children and you have a total win-win situation.
Unfortunately, the more our linkage is to work, the less energy there is left for relationship. Since the lifeblood of any relationship is linkage, this is not good for the relationship! The tendency to link to work rather than to one's partner is a major challenge to relationship.
Traditionally, men have buried themselves in work when they felt vulnerable or their emotions became too uncomfortable. Now women, too, have this marvelous option available. Many women have learned to drop the linkage in the relationship and shift their energies to their work. When the going gets rough for a two-career couple and each partner has satisfying work, there is a strong temptation for the partners to shift the primary linkage from their relationship to their work. As this happens, each feels abandoned by the other and each links even more intensely to work.
This linkage may be to the work itself, to the clients they serve, or to their coworkers. This linkage is frequently to a particular person at work, an understanding coworker or a particularly supportive assistant. Traditionally it was the man's secretary. This may or may not become a full-blown extramarital relationship.
We find this can be a particularly subtle challenge for people who work together. For instance, it is very easy for the two of us to get so involved in a project that we lose contact with each other. We may both get so interested in our writing that our linkage goes to the book rather than to one another. It may look as though we are still in a relationship because we are both linked to the same object, but we are not. Not really. We are like two oxen yoked to the same cart. We are pulling together and doing a great job, but we have blinders on and we no longer see each other. We just see the road ahead. When this happens, there is a loss of intimacy. We do not feel good and we do not know why.
There are many times in life when being linked to work looks like a natural and necessary move. This is particularly true when there are financial pressures, either real or imagined. One or both partners will deal with this underlying vulnerability in the most seemingly sensible fashion by working harder and earning more money. This is not a problem if the connection between the partners stays strong and intimate. Usually, however, at times like these the truly strong connection switches to work and the partners gradually and unobtrusively drift apart until they are almost like strangers to one another.
Of course, there are times when any of us will feel better at work than at home, but think about it. Over all, where do you feel better, with your partner or with your work?
To deal with this challenge, see what you can do about putting a limit on the amount of time you spend at work or thinking about work. Set boundaries. Try to set realistic time limits that you can meet; for instance, no work or work-related activity between 8:30 P.M. and 7:00 A.M. This will probably be extremely difficult to do at first. To help you do this, keep a notepad with you so that when you have a work-related thought during your off-hours, you can write it down and not think about it until the next work session. For instance, you remember that you should send an E-mail to double check on yesterday's order. Write it down on your notepad and put it away until tomorrow. Otherwise you will probably spend a great deal of time (1) trying not to think this thought and (2) fearing that you will forget to send the E-mail.
The next Challenge to Relationship is titled "Other Relationships in Fact and Fantasy" , and will be presented in upcoming Voice Dialogue Tips.
For more information on Voice Dialogue, visit http://www.bodymindinformation.com
To read previous Voice Dialogue tips, visit http://www.bodymindinformation.com/voice-dialogue-tips-archive.htm
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Send these Voice Dialogue Tips to Friends:
If you would like to send these tips on to any of your friends, please forward them by email. You can also advise your friends at http://www.bodymindinformation.com/tell-a-friend.php If you are able to help us do this, we would like to thank you by sending you a FREE REPORT titled: Voice Dialogue: A Guide To Great Relationships.
They can also register to receive future copies on our web site, which has a subscriber's panel, or they can email jcoroneos@bigpond.com directly. We will not be giving any of the addresses we receive to anyone else or any other organization. At any point you can stop receiving them - just click on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.
How To Change Your Email details:
If you need to change your email address, the quickest and surest way is this: click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this page. Then go to the web site http://www.bodymindinformation.com and resubscribe with your new address. If you find your name spelt incorrectly, or have no name mentioned at the beginning of this letter, then email us on jcoroneos@bigpond.com and we will change it.
Warmly,
Dr John Coroneos
Medical Doctor
Producer of The Voice Dialogue Series
Copyright Wiseone Edutainment P/L
No part of Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue tips may be reproduced, in any form, without the written permission of Drs Hal and Sidra Stone except for forwarding an issue, in its entirety and complete with copyright information, to a friend.
17 January 2009
Voice Dialogue Tips
Voice Dialogue Tips
January 2009
Email us: jcoroneos@bigpond.com
Web Site: http://www.bodymindinformation.com
Dear shadowbear,
Welcome again to Hal & Sidra's Voice Dialogue Tips.
1. The month's article is the first in a series titled " The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship: Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines "
2. Are You Interested in Writing Novels or Screenplays as a Lucrative Career?
Discover how Successful Story Writing is based on Subpersonalities (See article below)
The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship:
Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines
(from Dr Hal & Sidra Stone's book titled "Partnering")
The basic requirement for the care and feeding of a relationship is this: Partners must make the linkage — or connection — between them a priority in their lives.
There are many challenges to relationship, some of them come from outside of us and some come from within. We are going to show you the top ten challenges so that you can recognize them and do something about them. Meeting these challenges takes commitment, time, and effort. But a good relationship is well worth this effort and, we might point out, a great deal of this effort can be fun.
There is one very simple principle to keep in mind. The basic requirement for the care and feeding of a relationship is this: Partners must make the linkage — or connection — between them a priority in their lives. If they do so, the relationship will flourish. Anything that disrupts this linkage will disrupt their relationship.
Even the most devoted of partners will have interests other than their relationships and they will form attachments and linkages elsewhere. This is an important part of life. However, if your primary linkage in life shifts away from your partner and remains elsewhere, it is likely to prove fatal to your relationship.
There is a great deal of competition for our attention. All of us have a great many distractions in our lives and we do not have to go far to find something that will divert our attention from our partners. We will describe the ten major distractions that we have seen over the years. At the end of each of these, we will give you a chance to answer the question: Where is your primary linkage? You can use these questions to look at your own relationship to determine which among these are your major challenges.
Challenge 1: Television
Most homes have a television set. Actually, many homes have more than one so that each family member has a set all to his or her own. This is a very compelling distraction. Television sets and television programs are designed to attract us and keep our attention. That is their goal. The entire industry is based upon linking us irrevocably to the TV set. They seduce us with the weekly shows, the news, the stock market, our favorite ball team, the Olympics, the latest scandal, our favorite soap opera, that special program we cannot miss. Others among us are seduced by the sheer power inherent in the remote control. We are in charge! We can do or watch whatever we like, whenever we like. We can change stations to our hearts content without anybody scolding us. We are not forced to finish anything.
In addition to this seductive quality of television, there is its lack of confrontation and complication. It essentially complements your every mood and gives you whatever you want, whenever you want it. After all, has your TV ever made demands on you? Has it ever been disappointed in you? Has it ever criticized you? Has it made you feel vulnerable? Does it pressure you to finish anything? Does it frighten you or make you feel insecure? Do its feelings get hurt? Does it ever disagree with you? In short, there is no way that a TV set makes you as uncomfortable as your partner can!
Is it any wonder that we frequently find partners spending a great deal more time linked energetically to the TV than to one another?
Think about it! Are you more attached to your TV than to your partner? Which would you rather do without?
If you would rather do without your partner, it seems safe to say that something is missing in your relationship. We find that one of the first things to disappear in a relationship is time together. Both partners get so busy that they forget each other. Life today is difficult and demanding. People are usually so overworked, overstressed, or exhausted that when they do have a moment, they drop into a comfortable chair and watch TV. It takes real effort to stay on your feet and do something different.
The next Challenges to Relationship will be presented in upcoming Voice Dialogue Tips.
For more information on Voice Dialogue, visit http://www.bodymindinformation.com
2. WRITING: Become a Successful Story and Screenwriter
Story and Screenwriting is the fastest way to generate extra income, in an enjoyable way
that allows you to use your interest in subpersonalities and self development.
SPECIAL OFFER: RECEIVE THE FIRST LESSON FREE!
2.
from Michael Domeyko Rowland,
presenter, director and writer of the Voice Dialogue Series .
This Brand New writing course reveals extraordinary information of why people read stories and go to see films.
You will discover that real writing is designed to allow the audience to experience personal integration of various subpersonalities during their reading and viewing. Very few know how to do this, now you can be one of them.
Writing is an incredibly fulfilling activity and without doubt the most creative outlet for anyone interested in the personality and exploring the deeper parts of the mind. As you write, you will reveal your own inner being and discover all sorts of things about yourself that you would never find in any other way.
Writing for the screen or the page is a fascinating and amazing experience, when approached in the right way. It is also the fastest way to generate a very large income, with royalties that can pay off for the rest of your life.
Most people make the mistake of writing from the conscious mind. The conscious mind can only ever come up with clichés, because it is not the source of originality and creativity. It is vital for editing, but not for creation. Many also make the mistake of not understanding the true function of story for an audience, which is to raise their level of consciousness.
Deep within your mind you have an unlimited resource, a realm of undiscovered subpersonalities, which only the greatest writers know about. This resource is called the Mythopoetica. It is the realm of your superconscious mind. It holds the ability to create any story whatsoever.
This is the part of your mind that also creates all your dreams. It is also the part of your mind that will bring into your consciousness the most inspiring, interesting and amazing stories you can imagine.
If you are interested in discovering the complete structural system, used by the world's finest story and screenwriters to guarantee that they have a professional and saleable story, as well as how to write directly from your superconscious, then please email me and I will send you a link for the first lesson absolutely FREE, along with an ebrochure about a web distributed writing course. You will be able to download a forty five minute audio lesson as an MP3, as well as a PDF of each lesson. You can then study the material at your leisure.
The integration of classic structure and the superconscious is what makes this course unique.
Email to: info@lifeact.com and put ‘Writing' in the subject line.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Send these Voice Dialogue Tips to Friends:
If you would like to send these tips on to any of your friends, please forward them by email. You can also advise your friends at http://www.bodymindinformation.com/tell-a-friend.php If you are able to help us do this, we would like to thank you by sending you a FREE REPORT titled: Voice Dialogue: A Guide To Great Relationships.
They can also register to receive future copies on our web site, which has a subscriber's panel, or they can email jcoroneos@bigpond.com directly. We will not be giving any of the addresses we receive to anyone else or any other organization. At any point you can stop receiving them - just click on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.
How To Change Your Email details:
If you need to change your email address, the quickest and surest way is this: click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this page. Then go to the web site http://www.bodymindinformation.com and resubscribe with your new address. If you find your name spelt incorrectly, or have no name mentioned at the beginning of this letter, then email us on jcoroneos@bigpond.com and we will change it.
Warmly,
Dr John Coroneos
Medical Doctor
Producer of The Voice Dialogue Series
January 2009
Email us: jcoroneos@bigpond.com
Web Site: http://www.bodymindinformation.com
Dear shadowbear,
Welcome again to Hal & Sidra's Voice Dialogue Tips.
1. The month's article is the first in a series titled " The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship: Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines "
2. Are You Interested in Writing Novels or Screenplays as a Lucrative Career?
Discover how Successful Story Writing is based on Subpersonalities (See article below)
The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship:
Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines
(from Dr Hal & Sidra Stone's book titled "Partnering")
The basic requirement for the care and feeding of a relationship is this: Partners must make the linkage — or connection — between them a priority in their lives.
There are many challenges to relationship, some of them come from outside of us and some come from within. We are going to show you the top ten challenges so that you can recognize them and do something about them. Meeting these challenges takes commitment, time, and effort. But a good relationship is well worth this effort and, we might point out, a great deal of this effort can be fun.
There is one very simple principle to keep in mind. The basic requirement for the care and feeding of a relationship is this: Partners must make the linkage — or connection — between them a priority in their lives. If they do so, the relationship will flourish. Anything that disrupts this linkage will disrupt their relationship.
Even the most devoted of partners will have interests other than their relationships and they will form attachments and linkages elsewhere. This is an important part of life. However, if your primary linkage in life shifts away from your partner and remains elsewhere, it is likely to prove fatal to your relationship.
There is a great deal of competition for our attention. All of us have a great many distractions in our lives and we do not have to go far to find something that will divert our attention from our partners. We will describe the ten major distractions that we have seen over the years. At the end of each of these, we will give you a chance to answer the question: Where is your primary linkage? You can use these questions to look at your own relationship to determine which among these are your major challenges.
Challenge 1: Television
Most homes have a television set. Actually, many homes have more than one so that each family member has a set all to his or her own. This is a very compelling distraction. Television sets and television programs are designed to attract us and keep our attention. That is their goal. The entire industry is based upon linking us irrevocably to the TV set. They seduce us with the weekly shows, the news, the stock market, our favorite ball team, the Olympics, the latest scandal, our favorite soap opera, that special program we cannot miss. Others among us are seduced by the sheer power inherent in the remote control. We are in charge! We can do or watch whatever we like, whenever we like. We can change stations to our hearts content without anybody scolding us. We are not forced to finish anything.
In addition to this seductive quality of television, there is its lack of confrontation and complication. It essentially complements your every mood and gives you whatever you want, whenever you want it. After all, has your TV ever made demands on you? Has it ever been disappointed in you? Has it ever criticized you? Has it made you feel vulnerable? Does it pressure you to finish anything? Does it frighten you or make you feel insecure? Do its feelings get hurt? Does it ever disagree with you? In short, there is no way that a TV set makes you as uncomfortable as your partner can!
Is it any wonder that we frequently find partners spending a great deal more time linked energetically to the TV than to one another?
Think about it! Are you more attached to your TV than to your partner? Which would you rather do without?
If you would rather do without your partner, it seems safe to say that something is missing in your relationship. We find that one of the first things to disappear in a relationship is time together. Both partners get so busy that they forget each other. Life today is difficult and demanding. People are usually so overworked, overstressed, or exhausted that when they do have a moment, they drop into a comfortable chair and watch TV. It takes real effort to stay on your feet and do something different.
The next Challenges to Relationship will be presented in upcoming Voice Dialogue Tips.
For more information on Voice Dialogue, visit http://www.bodymindinformation.com
2. WRITING: Become a Successful Story and Screenwriter
Story and Screenwriting is the fastest way to generate extra income, in an enjoyable way
that allows you to use your interest in subpersonalities and self development.
SPECIAL OFFER: RECEIVE THE FIRST LESSON FREE!
2.
from Michael Domeyko Rowland,
presenter, director and writer of the Voice Dialogue Series .
This Brand New writing course reveals extraordinary information of why people read stories and go to see films.
You will discover that real writing is designed to allow the audience to experience personal integration of various subpersonalities during their reading and viewing. Very few know how to do this, now you can be one of them.
Writing is an incredibly fulfilling activity and without doubt the most creative outlet for anyone interested in the personality and exploring the deeper parts of the mind. As you write, you will reveal your own inner being and discover all sorts of things about yourself that you would never find in any other way.
Writing for the screen or the page is a fascinating and amazing experience, when approached in the right way. It is also the fastest way to generate a very large income, with royalties that can pay off for the rest of your life.
Most people make the mistake of writing from the conscious mind. The conscious mind can only ever come up with clichés, because it is not the source of originality and creativity. It is vital for editing, but not for creation. Many also make the mistake of not understanding the true function of story for an audience, which is to raise their level of consciousness.
Deep within your mind you have an unlimited resource, a realm of undiscovered subpersonalities, which only the greatest writers know about. This resource is called the Mythopoetica. It is the realm of your superconscious mind. It holds the ability to create any story whatsoever.
This is the part of your mind that also creates all your dreams. It is also the part of your mind that will bring into your consciousness the most inspiring, interesting and amazing stories you can imagine.
If you are interested in discovering the complete structural system, used by the world's finest story and screenwriters to guarantee that they have a professional and saleable story, as well as how to write directly from your superconscious, then please email me and I will send you a link for the first lesson absolutely FREE, along with an ebrochure about a web distributed writing course. You will be able to download a forty five minute audio lesson as an MP3, as well as a PDF of each lesson. You can then study the material at your leisure.
The integration of classic structure and the superconscious is what makes this course unique.
Email to: info@lifeact.com and put ‘Writing' in the subject line.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Send these Voice Dialogue Tips to Friends:
If you would like to send these tips on to any of your friends, please forward them by email. You can also advise your friends at http://www.bodymindinformation.com/tell-a-friend.php If you are able to help us do this, we would like to thank you by sending you a FREE REPORT titled: Voice Dialogue: A Guide To Great Relationships.
They can also register to receive future copies on our web site, which has a subscriber's panel, or they can email jcoroneos@bigpond.com directly. We will not be giving any of the addresses we receive to anyone else or any other organization. At any point you can stop receiving them - just click on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.
How To Change Your Email details:
If you need to change your email address, the quickest and surest way is this: click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this page. Then go to the web site http://www.bodymindinformation.com and resubscribe with your new address. If you find your name spelt incorrectly, or have no name mentioned at the beginning of this letter, then email us on jcoroneos@bigpond.com and we will change it.
Warmly,
Dr John Coroneos
Medical Doctor
Producer of The Voice Dialogue Series
08 January 2009
Simon's Reflections 2009
: Today’s Reflection is about the end of a year and a beginning of another.
: And, I believe, a lot more.
This past year feels both very long and short at the same time, which I find interesting. What happened last year? Some of the global-scale events that come to mind include:
The extradition of Radovan Karadzic (the "Butcher of Bosnia") to The Hague, the International Criminal Tribunal, to face charges of crimes against humanity and genocide.
China hosted the Summer Olympics games.
Rising food prices that pushed millions around the world into hunger. The UN estimates the number of undernourished people worldwide to be almost 1 billion, which is about 1 in 6 or seven people worldwide. For instance, in Haiti, people were reduced to eating patties made of mud, oil, and sugar. “It’s salty and it has butter and you don’t know you’re eating dirt,” 24-year-old Olwich Louis Jeune told "The New York Times."
There were terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India.
Leadership changed in Russia (at least, officially).
Kosovo declared independence from Serbia, on February 17, and became the world's newest state.
Barack Obama was elected the 44th U.S. President.
And, of course, The Global Financial Crisis, which is being called the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. And like the Great Depression, the 2008 version began in the United States, but soon spread around the world. This is where I lost about 20% of my savings, so far.
:: "The best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is
:: to withdraw the projection of our shadow onto others." – Carl Jung
For me personally, it has also been quite an eventful year. I finally started drumming and taking lessons on a djembe drum, which I absolutely love. I witnessed Tobi being attacked by another dog, experiencing myself as a mother bear protecting her cub. Saw another live show of my favorite Cirque du Soleil. Started a very humble roof-top gardening project, eating some home-grown food while realizing that I am definitely not self-sustainable, food-wise. Spent some time in Israel, visiting my parents, reconnecting with a few dear friends, and eating awesome Israeli food that I miss not having in Vancouver. Spent time in the beautiful wilderness of Interior BC. Encountered the wrath of US Customs and Border officers, and (as a result of it) experienced the pain and sadness of having something I dearly love being taken away. Luckily, temporarily only. Together with Keli and Tobi, discovered the magic of coconut oil, both in its internal and external applications. Readjusted my lifestyle
I am sure there is a lot more that happened last year; somehow, it is quite the blur right now. Dear friends, exciting work, fun times and adventures, moments of love and connection, challenges and sadness and tears, quiet moments of solitude, gratitude for my life and all it brings forth, and the joy of being here and now. Overall, I would say that I have experienced the richness of life, with its highs and lows, a lot more than before. It certainly was a year of growth and humility, the companions that forever walk the journey hand-in-hand.
:: “The saddest thing I see in the world are people who have stopped
:: dreaming. People who cannot legitimately imagine themselves as someone
:: greater than they are. People who cannot see the power in their weak
:: legs or the acumen in their tired minds...” - Loren Bors
One of the incredible gifts of this past year was a book. “A Language Older Than Words” by Derrick Jensen is a book that each person must read, in order to understand the world we live in on a whole different level. This book is absolutely profound – shocking, disturbing, realistic, touching, horrifying and uplifting at the same time, compelling, and inspiring to action. You can find it here: http://tinyurl.com/a7j49v.
How and why do we numb ourselves to our own experience of life in favour of what we have been taught? How and why do we deafen ourselves to the voices of many others who occupy this world together with us? How did it happen that we pretend that anything that we don’t understand - anything that cannot be measured, quantified, and controlled – does not exist? How is it that pagans, Jews, Muslims, heretical Christians, Indians, Africans, Polynesians, Asians, women, men, children, salmon, forests, have been murdered by the millions in the name of a man who said that people should love their neighbours and love their enemies? Why is it that in our economic system, money is valued above all else? What happens when we really and truly open ourselves up and really listen to others around us, and not only humans? What if the point of life is not to accumulate wealth, to create ever-expanding regions of control, and not to keep at bay all those people, objects, beings, and em
This book will take you on a journey you will never forget, and you will never be the same again. I am actually considering contacting Derrick and getting copies of the book, which I would love to share with those willing to embark on this journey. If, for whatever reason, you cannot get the book yourself, please connect with me; I hope to be able to provide you with a copy.
:: “It is not possible to recover from atrocity in isolation. It is, in fact, precisely
:: this isolation that induces the atrocities. If we wish to stop the atrocities, we
:: need merely to step away from the isolation. There is a whole world waiting for us,
:: ready to welcome us home. It has missed us as sorely as we have missed it. And it is
:: time to return.” - Derrick Jensen
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
: And, I believe, a lot more.
This past year feels both very long and short at the same time, which I find interesting. What happened last year? Some of the global-scale events that come to mind include:
The extradition of Radovan Karadzic (the "Butcher of Bosnia") to The Hague, the International Criminal Tribunal, to face charges of crimes against humanity and genocide.
China hosted the Summer Olympics games.
Rising food prices that pushed millions around the world into hunger. The UN estimates the number of undernourished people worldwide to be almost 1 billion, which is about 1 in 6 or seven people worldwide. For instance, in Haiti, people were reduced to eating patties made of mud, oil, and sugar. “It’s salty and it has butter and you don’t know you’re eating dirt,” 24-year-old Olwich Louis Jeune told "The New York Times."
There were terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India.
Leadership changed in Russia (at least, officially).
Kosovo declared independence from Serbia, on February 17, and became the world's newest state.
Barack Obama was elected the 44th U.S. President.
And, of course, The Global Financial Crisis, which is being called the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. And like the Great Depression, the 2008 version began in the United States, but soon spread around the world. This is where I lost about 20% of my savings, so far.
:: "The best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is
:: to withdraw the projection of our shadow onto others." – Carl Jung
For me personally, it has also been quite an eventful year. I finally started drumming and taking lessons on a djembe drum, which I absolutely love. I witnessed Tobi being attacked by another dog, experiencing myself as a mother bear protecting her cub. Saw another live show of my favorite Cirque du Soleil. Started a very humble roof-top gardening project, eating some home-grown food while realizing that I am definitely not self-sustainable, food-wise. Spent some time in Israel, visiting my parents, reconnecting with a few dear friends, and eating awesome Israeli food that I miss not having in Vancouver. Spent time in the beautiful wilderness of Interior BC. Encountered the wrath of US Customs and Border officers, and (as a result of it) experienced the pain and sadness of having something I dearly love being taken away. Luckily, temporarily only. Together with Keli and Tobi, discovered the magic of coconut oil, both in its internal and external applications. Readjusted my lifestyle
I am sure there is a lot more that happened last year; somehow, it is quite the blur right now. Dear friends, exciting work, fun times and adventures, moments of love and connection, challenges and sadness and tears, quiet moments of solitude, gratitude for my life and all it brings forth, and the joy of being here and now. Overall, I would say that I have experienced the richness of life, with its highs and lows, a lot more than before. It certainly was a year of growth and humility, the companions that forever walk the journey hand-in-hand.
:: “The saddest thing I see in the world are people who have stopped
:: dreaming. People who cannot legitimately imagine themselves as someone
:: greater than they are. People who cannot see the power in their weak
:: legs or the acumen in their tired minds...” - Loren Bors
One of the incredible gifts of this past year was a book. “A Language Older Than Words” by Derrick Jensen is a book that each person must read, in order to understand the world we live in on a whole different level. This book is absolutely profound – shocking, disturbing, realistic, touching, horrifying and uplifting at the same time, compelling, and inspiring to action. You can find it here: http://tinyurl.com/a7j49v.
How and why do we numb ourselves to our own experience of life in favour of what we have been taught? How and why do we deafen ourselves to the voices of many others who occupy this world together with us? How did it happen that we pretend that anything that we don’t understand - anything that cannot be measured, quantified, and controlled – does not exist? How is it that pagans, Jews, Muslims, heretical Christians, Indians, Africans, Polynesians, Asians, women, men, children, salmon, forests, have been murdered by the millions in the name of a man who said that people should love their neighbours and love their enemies? Why is it that in our economic system, money is valued above all else? What happens when we really and truly open ourselves up and really listen to others around us, and not only humans? What if the point of life is not to accumulate wealth, to create ever-expanding regions of control, and not to keep at bay all those people, objects, beings, and em
This book will take you on a journey you will never forget, and you will never be the same again. I am actually considering contacting Derrick and getting copies of the book, which I would love to share with those willing to embark on this journey. If, for whatever reason, you cannot get the book yourself, please connect with me; I hope to be able to provide you with a copy.
:: “It is not possible to recover from atrocity in isolation. It is, in fact, precisely
:: this isolation that induces the atrocities. If we wish to stop the atrocities, we
:: need merely to step away from the isolation. There is a whole world waiting for us,
:: ready to welcome us home. It has missed us as sorely as we have missed it. And it is
:: time to return.” - Derrick Jensen
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
12 November 2008
More Simon's Reflections
: Today’s Reflection is about being in, and with, Nature. Something that
: many of us, city dwellers, have forgotten.
It was late, dark, and raining here in Vancouver. And the world was beckoning me to come and visit and wander the streets. I felt the need to answer the call...
A dark, quiet, windless, and rain-ful night, as Tobi and I were wandering through the neighbourhood. The rain called me out, out of the comfort of my cozy and warm home, to come and join Nature and inhale the fresh air and feel the rain drops on my clothes. Shining tiny diamond-like drops of water on the edges of pine needles, shimmering in the street lights. Feeling the gratitude for the eternal and mysterious self-sustaining ways of Nature was a beautiful thing to notice and feel. Inhaling the fresh air was a gift. The human-made world was mostly asleep, yet Nature did not stop her endless magic of sustaining and creating life. Seeing many naked trees getting ready for a long hibernation made me think about the importance of taking time-out, to sustain and rejuvenate my own well-being.
Even though I was outside the “comfort” of my home, I felt comfortable, at peace, belonging, and connected with the world around me.
:: “Human behavior is rooted most deeply in nature’s intentions
:: and desire. The rhythms of nature underlie all of human
:: interaction: religious traditions, economic systems, cultural
:: and political organization. When these human forms betray the
:: natural psychic pulse, people and societies get sick, nature
:: is exploited and entire species are threatened.”
:: - Stephen Aizenstat
And then, when I came back home, I stumbled upon the following piece, by John Milton, and it suddenly made a lot more sense.
“The profound healing power of Nature. This healing power comes directly and naturally, without any artifice or complicated treatments, prayers, rituals or ceremonies.
All that is required is a commitment to come alone to Nature’s heart, to relax into the silence, and to trust. In living closely and alone with Nature for the first time, most people’s initial experiences are of radical slowing down... and of silence. Both are powerful healers. Modern technocratic culture is characterized by ever-increasing pressures for speed, and by almost continuous noise - inner and outer. In our contemporary cultural frenzy to boost our economies, we produce increasingly processed products; we consume increasingly greater quantities of these goods and energy, hoping to fill the gnawing void within we fear to meet. As we feed this growing industrial/technocratic mesh, our natural world is systematically replaced by an artificial one. And in this artificial world, the values of silence and slow, organic rhythms are rarely encountered.
Consider how many millions of years it has taken for our current interconnected web of body, mind and emotions to evolve. And consider what kind of environment supported this evolution, and coevolved with us. The environments were natural ones, where organic rhythms of day/night, moon cycle, solar cycle, constellation cycles were part of us; and we were part of them. Trees, flowers, streams, lakes, ocean shorelines, mountains, rocks, sky, clouds - all of these elements of Nature have been companions in our journey into our contemporary embodiment, and influenced our growth. Now, in a few generations, we have leapt into incredibly new processed environments. Plastics, millions of new chemical compounds, air-conditioned air, fluorescent lighting, artificial food, powerful drugs, glass/steel/plastic housing and transportation units, alien electromagnetic fields, intense performance stress, speed, environmental pollution of every imaginable kind, breakdown of community/extended fami
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: And I do welcome your thoughts and comments.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
__._,_.___
: many of us, city dwellers, have forgotten.
It was late, dark, and raining here in Vancouver. And the world was beckoning me to come and visit and wander the streets. I felt the need to answer the call...
A dark, quiet, windless, and rain-ful night, as Tobi and I were wandering through the neighbourhood. The rain called me out, out of the comfort of my cozy and warm home, to come and join Nature and inhale the fresh air and feel the rain drops on my clothes. Shining tiny diamond-like drops of water on the edges of pine needles, shimmering in the street lights. Feeling the gratitude for the eternal and mysterious self-sustaining ways of Nature was a beautiful thing to notice and feel. Inhaling the fresh air was a gift. The human-made world was mostly asleep, yet Nature did not stop her endless magic of sustaining and creating life. Seeing many naked trees getting ready for a long hibernation made me think about the importance of taking time-out, to sustain and rejuvenate my own well-being.
Even though I was outside the “comfort” of my home, I felt comfortable, at peace, belonging, and connected with the world around me.
:: “Human behavior is rooted most deeply in nature’s intentions
:: and desire. The rhythms of nature underlie all of human
:: interaction: religious traditions, economic systems, cultural
:: and political organization. When these human forms betray the
:: natural psychic pulse, people and societies get sick, nature
:: is exploited and entire species are threatened.”
:: - Stephen Aizenstat
And then, when I came back home, I stumbled upon the following piece, by John Milton, and it suddenly made a lot more sense.
“The profound healing power of Nature. This healing power comes directly and naturally, without any artifice or complicated treatments, prayers, rituals or ceremonies.
All that is required is a commitment to come alone to Nature’s heart, to relax into the silence, and to trust. In living closely and alone with Nature for the first time, most people’s initial experiences are of radical slowing down... and of silence. Both are powerful healers. Modern technocratic culture is characterized by ever-increasing pressures for speed, and by almost continuous noise - inner and outer. In our contemporary cultural frenzy to boost our economies, we produce increasingly processed products; we consume increasingly greater quantities of these goods and energy, hoping to fill the gnawing void within we fear to meet. As we feed this growing industrial/technocratic mesh, our natural world is systematically replaced by an artificial one. And in this artificial world, the values of silence and slow, organic rhythms are rarely encountered.
Consider how many millions of years it has taken for our current interconnected web of body, mind and emotions to evolve. And consider what kind of environment supported this evolution, and coevolved with us. The environments were natural ones, where organic rhythms of day/night, moon cycle, solar cycle, constellation cycles were part of us; and we were part of them. Trees, flowers, streams, lakes, ocean shorelines, mountains, rocks, sky, clouds - all of these elements of Nature have been companions in our journey into our contemporary embodiment, and influenced our growth. Now, in a few generations, we have leapt into incredibly new processed environments. Plastics, millions of new chemical compounds, air-conditioned air, fluorescent lighting, artificial food, powerful drugs, glass/steel/plastic housing and transportation units, alien electromagnetic fields, intense performance stress, speed, environmental pollution of every imaginable kind, breakdown of community/extended fami
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: And I do welcome your thoughts and comments.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
__._,_.___
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