(Simon's Reflections)To Give or To Receive

: Today’s Reflection is about another perspective of looking at our deeply
: and profoundly interconnected world, where nothing exists in isolation,
: and everything impacts, affects, and depends on everything else.

The following is a story Keli
told me, about a live performance Prince gave in Vancouver a long time
ago; I hope that in retelling it, I will do the story as much justice
as it deserves.

Prince. Live performance. Crowds. Music. And
everything else that accompanies such an event. At some point, Prince
stops playing, turns to the audience, and asks: “What’s better, to give
or to receive?”

“To give,” scream some. “To receive,” shout others.

He
repeats his question. In return, even more screaming and shouting and
noise, all variations of the same answers. He points to a woman,
screaming from her seat in the front row: “What is better, to give or
to receive?”

“To give!” is her reply.

“OK,” says Prince.
“You are saying that to give is better than to receive?” Her loud “Yes”
carries through the whole space, as he raises his hand and quiets the
audience.

“I want you then,” he says, pointing to the woman, “to
give your seat to someone at the very last row and go sit there
instead. Trade places.”

Silence descends on the whole place.

“What is better, to give or to receive?” he asks again.

By
now, the silence is palpable and the audience can feel, sense, taste,
and touch it. It is as if time stands still. He repeats the question
again. Now the silence is heavy, drawing people deeper and deeper into
themselves. Nothing moves.

He then invites the woman from the
front row to the stage. Assistants bring pillows and make a comfortable
and cozy area for her to sit, right there, in the center of the stage.
He turns his back to the whole audience and performs a song – facing
the woman, singing just for her.

:: “You cannot teach an ego to be anything but egotistic, even though egos have
:: the subtlest ways of pretending to be reformed. The basic thing is therefore
:: to dispel, by experiment and experience, the illusion of oneself as a
:: separate ego.” - Alan Watts

When the song is over, he turns to the audience and asks again, “What is getter – to give or to receive?”

There
is still silence in the space, yet it is different now. Somehow, it is
more gentle, contemplative, intimate. “You cannot have one without the
other,” says Prince.

I keep coming back to this story, time and
time again, in a variety of situations and circumstances. How true his
message is. Some weeks ago, I witnessed a profoundly beautiful,
touching, and inspiring ceremony, where a group of students and faculty
acknowledged and appreciated a program dean, who has contributed
immensely to an MBA school, from the very beginning. She is now taking
a short sabbatical, and in an opening circle, people stood up and
acknowledged her contribution to the school and their own lives. Beyond
the appreciations themselves, one of the things that touched me the
most was observing her receive the appreciations – gracefully, humbly,
without trying to avoid or deflect the kind words that were shared with
her in front of a group of about a hundred people.

One cannot
fully give, if the message is not being fully received. The giver and
the receiver depend on each other for a full experience of grace,
kindness, appreciation, and love. Without such relationship of
interdependence, there is no giver and no receiver.

:: “The hostile attitude of conquering nature ignores the basic interdependence
:: of all things and events – that the world beyond the skin is actually an
:: extension of our own bodies – and will end in destroying the very environment
:: from which we emerge and upon which our whole life depends.”
:: - Alan Watts

This is It
and I am It
and You are It
and so is That
and He is It
and She is It
and It is It
and That is That.
- James Broughton

A sunny week to you all, inside and out.


:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: And I do welcome your thoughts and comments.


Simon

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