28 April 2009
Simon's Reflections
: Today’s Reflection is about taking action. Or not.
Margaret Wheatley tells the story that happened sometime in the 70ies in Gdansk, Poland. There, about a dozen workers started a conversation about the tough and inhumane working conditions in the shipyards, and about what might it look like if things were different. The conversation spread, and within a month, about One Million people were engaged. They closed the shipyards and effectively shut down the country. The Solidarity movement was born. It is important to note that this was time before the internet, cell pones, and text messages. Yes, there was such a time.
In a way, the story of this Reflection is telling of the topic itself. I have been sitting on it for a week, planning and thinking and wanting to write and complete it. And it somehow didn’t happen. Flu. Unexpected meetings. A fireplace that needs to be replaced. Another something. And then one more. Somehow, something managed to get in the way, squeeze itself ahead of the to-do line, and grab my attention. Not that it was that important, when I think of the things I really wanted to do.
:: “To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the
:: fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion,
:: sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex
:: history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our
:: capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places -- and there
:: are so many -- where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the
:: energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a
:: world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however a small way, we
:: don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite
:: succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live,
:: in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”
:: - Howard Zinn
For instance, the elections in British Columbia are coming up. I love this province and care about it; I also care about the fact that the current government and Gordon Campbell are planning things that will unequivocally ruin the future here. For instance, by selling all our rivers and the power they will generate to private companies, mostly from the US, which (based on NAFTA) once we do, we will never be able to get back; the following clip portrays the specifics of this so-called plan: http://saveourrivers.tv/powerplay_player5.html . While the solution proposed there is not much better (the BC Greens are the only ones with any long-term viable alternative), but at least we will still have BC Hydro and our Canadian control over our natural resources. So I wanted to do something about it.
Another thing I care about is my health and wellness, and the ability to have easy access to alternative and natural medicine. Well, there is Bill C-6, which is the old Bill C-51 and C-52 – with a new name. While it has a fancy name of Consumer Protection Act, one should not be misled by the name. There is a beautiful and very informative clip ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7_0HlCwb8A ) which explains what it can really do – and it is Bad. Really Bad. Here too, I wanted to do something, because, hey, I care and I can.
Yet, somehow, everything else was urgent. Or felt as such.
:: “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” - Einstein
I keep thinking about a simple little matrix of categories, of urgent/important/non-urgent/non-important categories, in all its variations. It seems that my attention often floats towards the the urgent & non-important, at the expense of the things I really need to be focusing on – the non-urgent & important. And I wonder about how, and when, will I learn the difference, and how will I make it work in my life. I don’t think I know it yet...
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
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25 April 2009
Voice Dialogue
Voice Dialogue Tips
April 2009
Email us: jcoroneos@bigpond.com
Web Site: www.bodymindinformation.com
Tell A Friend
Dear Joyce,
Welcome again to Hal & Sidra's Voice Dialogue Tips.
1. This month we continue our series of articles titled " The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship: Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines "
Challenge 3: Other Relationships in Fact and Fantasy.
2. We also have a new video on You Tube, a snippet from Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue DVD Series, which is about Dreams. To watch this video, visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8eEXm0MehU
The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship:
Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines
(an excerpt from Dr Hal & Sidra Stone's book titled "Partnering")
Challenge 3:
Other Relationships in Fact and Fantasy
There was a period in the late 1960s and early 1970s when people realized that they could not expect a single romantic or sexual relationship to meet all their needs. This was a reaction against earlier over idealized expectations of marriages “made in heaven” and dreams of “happily ever after” when all that was needed was one Cinderella and one Prince Charming. It was a time of cultural revolution during which there was a good deal of experimentation with extramarital relationships and deep extramarital friendships.
Quite often this worked beautifully for a while. Each partner felt more alive and fulfilled. They brought back new energy to the primary relationship and the linkage between the partners intensified. But what we noticed during those years was that, sooner or later, the linkage between the partners began to dissipate as the linkage to outsiders increased in intensity. Most of the time the primary linkage finally shifted from the partner to someone else.
As normal, ordinary human beings, we can expect to feel attractions to people other than our partners. This is totally natural. It just means that we are alive and that our hormones are functioning properly . There is a great deal to be learned from these attractions if we do not panic about them or feel too guilty.
There was definitely a kernel of truth in the thinking of the sixties and seventies. One person does not hold everything; therefore one relationship cannot hold everything. We have our primary selves and we have our disowned selves. In our relationships there are selves that are acceptable or primary and others that both partners disown.
If you think about what we said earlier regarding disowned selves (see chapter 2), you get the picture of what happens in relationship. Our disowned selves, and the disowned selves of our partners, are the selves that we find fascinating in others. These are the selves that exert the fatal attractions that cause us to drop the linkage to our partners and develop a primary linkage elsewhere . This linkage does not have to become sexual in order to challenge the relationship. It just needs to be primary.
Sometimes this is not even a linkage to an actual person, sexual or otherwise. Sometimes it is a preoccupation with a fantasy. One of the partners develops a strong fantasy life and disappears into it. This can be a fantasy about another person, about an imagined person, or a fantasy about a different kind of life. The primary linkage shifts from the relationship or the partnering to this fantasy or this fantasy character. For some people, this can be as strong an involvement as an involvement with another person and it can disrupt the linkage between partners as much as an actual affair. Just as in an actual affair, the primary linkage has been shifted. Here, the primary linkage is to the fantasy rather than to the partner. Where does this linkage go? Just as in an affair or an attraction, the linkage is always to a person or a situation that is carrying a disowned self.
What can be done to reestablish the linkage within the partnership? If you follow our thinking, look for the disowned selves that are operating. What is it that is irresistible about this person who is not your partner? Where does this person carry either your disowned self or that of your partner? You can actually use this attraction as a teacher and either you or your partner can claim the disowned self so that this irresistible attraction becomes more resistible and your primary linkage returns to the relationship.
What does this look like? Perhaps you and your partner have become rather complacent and predictable. Your routine is safe and comfortable because each of you has disowned your spontaneity and wildness. We might expect that someone who is more spontaneous or unpredictable would be very attractive to one or both of you. If you take this attraction as a sign that you need a bit of fresh air and that your lives need a bit of change, you may be able to incorporate this change into your relationship rather than changing relationships.
These missing pieces that we find irresistible in others can be almost anything. Each of us is different. The person who carries this attraction can be a rebel or a conservative, sexual or proper, a professional or a homebody, fiscally responsible or fiscally impulsive, cautious or spontaneous, thoughtful or selfish, powerful or sensitive, passionate or cool, sophisticated or simple. The list goes on forever, but we just wanted to give you a picture of the variety of possibilities.
Think of the people in your life who exert a fascination over you and who pull your energetic linkage toward themselves and away from your partner. What is it that they carry that is missing in you, your partner, or the relationship? How might you bring more balance into your life and into your relationship by including some of this missing energy?
The next Challenge to Relationship titled "Friends", will be presented in upcoming Voice Dialogue Tips.
You can read past tips by clicking here
For more information about Voice Dialogue DVD Series, visit www.bodymindinformation.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Send these Voice Dialogue Tips to Friends:
If you would like to send these tips on to any of your friends, please forward them by email. You can also advise your friends at www.bodymindinformation.com/tell-a-friend.php If you are able to help us do this, we would like to thank you by sending you a FREE REPORT titled: Voice Dialogue: A Guide To Great Relationships.
They can also register to receive future copies on our web site, which has a subscriber's panel, or they can email jcoroneos@bigpond.com directly. We will not be giving any of the addresses we receive to anyone else or any other organization. At any point you can stop receiving them - just click on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.
How To Change Your Email details:
If you need to change your email address, the quickest and surest way is this: click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this page. Then go to the web site www.bodymindinformation.com and resubscribe with your new address. If you find your name spelt incorrectly, or have no name mentioned at the beginning of this letter, then email us on jcoroneos@bigpond.com and we will change it.
Warmly,
Dr John Coroneos
Medical Doctor
Producer of The Voice Dialogue Series
Copyright Wiseone Edutainment P/L
No part of Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue tips may be reproduced, in any form, without the written permission of Drs Hal and Sidra Stone except for forwarding an issue, in its entirety and complete with copyright information, to a friend.
April 2009
Email us: jcoroneos@bigpond.com
Web Site: www.bodymindinformation.com
Tell A Friend
Dear Joyce,
Welcome again to Hal & Sidra's Voice Dialogue Tips.
1. This month we continue our series of articles titled " The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship: Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines "
Challenge 3: Other Relationships in Fact and Fantasy.
2. We also have a new video on You Tube, a snippet from Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue DVD Series, which is about Dreams. To watch this video, visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8eEXm0MehU
The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship:
Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines
(an excerpt from Dr Hal & Sidra Stone's book titled "Partnering")
Challenge 3:
Other Relationships in Fact and Fantasy
There was a period in the late 1960s and early 1970s when people realized that they could not expect a single romantic or sexual relationship to meet all their needs. This was a reaction against earlier over idealized expectations of marriages “made in heaven” and dreams of “happily ever after” when all that was needed was one Cinderella and one Prince Charming. It was a time of cultural revolution during which there was a good deal of experimentation with extramarital relationships and deep extramarital friendships.
Quite often this worked beautifully for a while. Each partner felt more alive and fulfilled. They brought back new energy to the primary relationship and the linkage between the partners intensified. But what we noticed during those years was that, sooner or later, the linkage between the partners began to dissipate as the linkage to outsiders increased in intensity. Most of the time the primary linkage finally shifted from the partner to someone else.
As normal, ordinary human beings, we can expect to feel attractions to people other than our partners. This is totally natural. It just means that we are alive and that our hormones are functioning properly . There is a great deal to be learned from these attractions if we do not panic about them or feel too guilty.
There was definitely a kernel of truth in the thinking of the sixties and seventies. One person does not hold everything; therefore one relationship cannot hold everything. We have our primary selves and we have our disowned selves. In our relationships there are selves that are acceptable or primary and others that both partners disown.
If you think about what we said earlier regarding disowned selves (see chapter 2), you get the picture of what happens in relationship. Our disowned selves, and the disowned selves of our partners, are the selves that we find fascinating in others. These are the selves that exert the fatal attractions that cause us to drop the linkage to our partners and develop a primary linkage elsewhere . This linkage does not have to become sexual in order to challenge the relationship. It just needs to be primary.
Sometimes this is not even a linkage to an actual person, sexual or otherwise. Sometimes it is a preoccupation with a fantasy. One of the partners develops a strong fantasy life and disappears into it. This can be a fantasy about another person, about an imagined person, or a fantasy about a different kind of life. The primary linkage shifts from the relationship or the partnering to this fantasy or this fantasy character. For some people, this can be as strong an involvement as an involvement with another person and it can disrupt the linkage between partners as much as an actual affair. Just as in an actual affair, the primary linkage has been shifted. Here, the primary linkage is to the fantasy rather than to the partner. Where does this linkage go? Just as in an affair or an attraction, the linkage is always to a person or a situation that is carrying a disowned self.
What can be done to reestablish the linkage within the partnership? If you follow our thinking, look for the disowned selves that are operating. What is it that is irresistible about this person who is not your partner? Where does this person carry either your disowned self or that of your partner? You can actually use this attraction as a teacher and either you or your partner can claim the disowned self so that this irresistible attraction becomes more resistible and your primary linkage returns to the relationship.
What does this look like? Perhaps you and your partner have become rather complacent and predictable. Your routine is safe and comfortable because each of you has disowned your spontaneity and wildness. We might expect that someone who is more spontaneous or unpredictable would be very attractive to one or both of you. If you take this attraction as a sign that you need a bit of fresh air and that your lives need a bit of change, you may be able to incorporate this change into your relationship rather than changing relationships.
These missing pieces that we find irresistible in others can be almost anything. Each of us is different. The person who carries this attraction can be a rebel or a conservative, sexual or proper, a professional or a homebody, fiscally responsible or fiscally impulsive, cautious or spontaneous, thoughtful or selfish, powerful or sensitive, passionate or cool, sophisticated or simple. The list goes on forever, but we just wanted to give you a picture of the variety of possibilities.
Think of the people in your life who exert a fascination over you and who pull your energetic linkage toward themselves and away from your partner. What is it that they carry that is missing in you, your partner, or the relationship? How might you bring more balance into your life and into your relationship by including some of this missing energy?
The next Challenge to Relationship titled "Friends", will be presented in upcoming Voice Dialogue Tips.
You can read past tips by clicking here
For more information about Voice Dialogue DVD Series, visit www.bodymindinformation.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Send these Voice Dialogue Tips to Friends:
If you would like to send these tips on to any of your friends, please forward them by email. You can also advise your friends at www.bodymindinformation.com/tell-a-friend.php If you are able to help us do this, we would like to thank you by sending you a FREE REPORT titled: Voice Dialogue: A Guide To Great Relationships.
They can also register to receive future copies on our web site, which has a subscriber's panel, or they can email jcoroneos@bigpond.com directly. We will not be giving any of the addresses we receive to anyone else or any other organization. At any point you can stop receiving them - just click on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.
How To Change Your Email details:
If you need to change your email address, the quickest and surest way is this: click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this page. Then go to the web site www.bodymindinformation.com and resubscribe with your new address. If you find your name spelt incorrectly, or have no name mentioned at the beginning of this letter, then email us on jcoroneos@bigpond.com and we will change it.
Warmly,
Dr John Coroneos
Medical Doctor
Producer of The Voice Dialogue Series
Copyright Wiseone Edutainment P/L
No part of Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue tips may be reproduced, in any form, without the written permission of Drs Hal and Sidra Stone except for forwarding an issue, in its entirety and complete with copyright information, to a friend.
07 April 2009
SimonsReflections
: Today’s Reflection is about gifts.
Several years ago, I was going to be away for about a week, and a friend wanted to stay at my place. Given that she was very generous to let me use her guestroom regularly (as I have been traveling to her area monthly for business), I was only delighted to reciprocate and let her use my place.
I came back home after she has already left, and encountered a few surprises. I could live with a dishwasher filled with unwashed dishes, mess at my computer desk (from trying to connect and make work a computer that was phased out and on the way to retirement), and a few other little things of a similar nature. The real problem was that my friend bought me a beautiful little framed picture, as a gift, and hang it on the wall – for me to see.
This last part sent me over the edge.
:: “The nourishment [of giving a gift] flows both ways. When we have fed the gift
:: with our labor and generosity, it grows and feeds us in return. The gift and its
:: bearers share a spirit which is kept alive by its motion among them, and which
:: in turn keeps them both alive.” - Lewis Hyde, “The Gift”
I did like the picture; this was not the problem. The problem was the way the gift was given, which I translated as “Here is a gift for you, Simon, and this is how it is to be used – in your place. Let me tell you where to hang it.”
Giving a gift, to me, means relinquishing all control as to how it will be used by the receiver of it. Letting it go, completely. As I am now finishing a 2-week trip, heading home, the whole notion of gifts comes to mind – as I was bringing some with me, and receiving others here. A true gift is one where there are no strings attached. A true gift is measured by its non-material “value” - which is a strange word to use in such context; perhaps “contribution” is a more fitting description of what we experience when we receive something from another. When a true gift is received, it moves one’s heart, revives the soul, delights the senses, and we end up feeling deeply touched.
:: “Gifts do not bring us attachment unless they move us. Manners or social pressure
:: may oblige us to those for whom we feel no true affection, but neither obligation
:: nor civility leads to lasting unions. It is when someone’s gifts stir us that we
:: are brought close, and what moves us, beyond the gift itself, is the promise (or
:: the fact) of transformation, friendship, and love.” - Lewis Hyde, “The Gift”
In this way, it almost doesn’t matter what the gift is anyway; what matters is that someone thought of us and chose to gift us with something. And, if the person has no attachment to what I am supposed to do with their gift, then there is also no problem with me passing it along to another; it perishes for the person who gives it away. It does bring in the notion that gifting is a process and a flow, moving the authentic experience of gifting on and on, never stopping, always nourishing and delighting all those involved.
:: “The gift is to the giver, and comes back most to him – it cannot fail...”
:: - Walt Whitman
And, as I write these words, I am thinking that it might be time to take the picture off the wall and gift it on.
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
Several years ago, I was going to be away for about a week, and a friend wanted to stay at my place. Given that she was very generous to let me use her guestroom regularly (as I have been traveling to her area monthly for business), I was only delighted to reciprocate and let her use my place.
I came back home after she has already left, and encountered a few surprises. I could live with a dishwasher filled with unwashed dishes, mess at my computer desk (from trying to connect and make work a computer that was phased out and on the way to retirement), and a few other little things of a similar nature. The real problem was that my friend bought me a beautiful little framed picture, as a gift, and hang it on the wall – for me to see.
This last part sent me over the edge.
:: “The nourishment [of giving a gift] flows both ways. When we have fed the gift
:: with our labor and generosity, it grows and feeds us in return. The gift and its
:: bearers share a spirit which is kept alive by its motion among them, and which
:: in turn keeps them both alive.” - Lewis Hyde, “The Gift”
I did like the picture; this was not the problem. The problem was the way the gift was given, which I translated as “Here is a gift for you, Simon, and this is how it is to be used – in your place. Let me tell you where to hang it.”
Giving a gift, to me, means relinquishing all control as to how it will be used by the receiver of it. Letting it go, completely. As I am now finishing a 2-week trip, heading home, the whole notion of gifts comes to mind – as I was bringing some with me, and receiving others here. A true gift is one where there are no strings attached. A true gift is measured by its non-material “value” - which is a strange word to use in such context; perhaps “contribution” is a more fitting description of what we experience when we receive something from another. When a true gift is received, it moves one’s heart, revives the soul, delights the senses, and we end up feeling deeply touched.
:: “Gifts do not bring us attachment unless they move us. Manners or social pressure
:: may oblige us to those for whom we feel no true affection, but neither obligation
:: nor civility leads to lasting unions. It is when someone’s gifts stir us that we
:: are brought close, and what moves us, beyond the gift itself, is the promise (or
:: the fact) of transformation, friendship, and love.” - Lewis Hyde, “The Gift”
In this way, it almost doesn’t matter what the gift is anyway; what matters is that someone thought of us and chose to gift us with something. And, if the person has no attachment to what I am supposed to do with their gift, then there is also no problem with me passing it along to another; it perishes for the person who gives it away. It does bring in the notion that gifting is a process and a flow, moving the authentic experience of gifting on and on, never stopping, always nourishing and delighting all those involved.
:: “The gift is to the giver, and comes back most to him – it cannot fail...”
:: - Walt Whitman
And, as I write these words, I am thinking that it might be time to take the picture off the wall and gift it on.
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
31 March 2009
Simon's Reflections
SimonsReflectionsList-owner@yahoogroups.com
To: list-SimonsReflections
: Today’s Reflection is about a story that crossed my path,
: “The Three Questions” by Leo Tolstoy. And even though it crossed
: my path a long time ago, it is somehow ever more relevant today.
Three Questions - by Leo Tolstoy
One day it occurred to a certain emperor that if he only knew the answers to three questions, he would never stray in any matter.
What is the best time to do each thing? Who are the most important people to work with? What is the most important thing to do at all times?
The emperor issued a decree throughout his kingdom announcing that whoever could answer the questions would receive a great reward. Many who read the decree made their way to the palace at once, each person with a different answer.
In reply to the first question, one person advised that the emperor make up a thorough time schedule, consecrating every hour, day, month, and year for certain tasks and then follow the schedule to the letter. Only then could he hope to do every task at the right time.
Another person replied that it was impossible to plan in advance and that the emperor should put all vain amusements aside and remain attentive to everything in order to know what to do at what time.
Someone else insisted that, by himself, the emperor could never hope to have all the foresight and competence necessary to decide when to do each and every task and what he really needed was to set up a Council of the Wise and then to act according to their advice.
Someone else said that certain matters required immediate decision and could not wait for consultation, but if he wanted to know in advance what was going to happen he should consult magicians and soothsayers.
The responses to the second question also lacked accord.
One person said that the emperor needed to place all his trust in administrators, another urged reliance on priests and monks, while others recommended physicians. Still others put their faith in warriors.
The third question drew a similar variety of answers. Some said science was the most important pursuit. Others insisted on religion. Yet others claimed the most important thing was military skill.
The emperor was not pleased with any of the answers, and no reward was given.
After several nights of reflection, the emperor resolved to visit a hermit who lived up on the mountain and was said to be an enlightened man. The emperor wished to find the hermit to ask him the three questions, though he knew the hermit never left the mountains and was known to receive only the poor, refusing to have anything to do with persons of wealth or power. So the emperor disguised himself as a simple peasant and ordered his attendants to wait for him at the foot of the mountain while he climbed the slope alone to seek the hermit.
Reaching the holy man's dwelling place, the emperor found the hermit digging a garden in front of his hut. When the hermit saw the stranger, he nodded his head in greeting and continued to dig. The labor was obviously hard on him. He was an old man, and each time he thrust his spade into the ground to turn the earth, he heaved heavily.
The emperor approached him and said, "I have come here to ask your help with three questions: When is the best time to do each thing? Who are the most important people to work with? What is the most important thing to do at all times?"
The hermit listened attentively but only patted the emperor on the shoulder and continued digging. The emperor said, "You must be tired. Here, let me give you a hand with that." The hermit thanked him, handed the emperor the spade, and then sat down on the ground to rest.
After he had dug two rows, the emperor stopped and turned to the hermit and repeated his three questions. The hermit still did not answer, but instead stood up and pointed to the spade and said, "Why don't you rest now? I can take over again." But the emperor continued to dig. One hour passed, then two. Finally the sun began to set behind the mountain. The emperor put down the spade and said to the hermit, "I came here to ask if you could answer my three questions. But if you can't give me any answer, please let me know so that I can get on may way home."
The hermit lifted his head and asked the emperor, "Do you hear someone running over there?" The emperor turned his head. They both saw a man with a long white beard emerge from the woods. He ran wildly, pressing his hands against a bloody wound in his stomach. The man ran toward the emperor before falling unconscious to the ground, where he lay groaning. Opening the man's clothing, the emperor and hermit saw that the man had received a deep gash. The emperor cleaned the wound thoroughly and then used his own shirt to bandage it, but the blood completely soaked it within minutes. He rinsed the shirt out and bandaged the wound a second time and continued to do so until the flow of blood had stopped.
At last the wounded man regained consciousness and asked for a drink of water. The emperor ran down to the stream and brought back a jug of fresh water. Meanwhile, the sun had disappeared and the night air had begun to turn cold. The hermit gave the emperor a hand in carrying the man into the hut where they laid him down on the hermit's bed. The man closed his eyes and lay quietly. The emperor was worn out from the long day of climbing the mountain and digging the garden. Leaning against the doorway, he fell asleep. When he rose, the sun had already risen over the mountain. For a moment he forgot where he was and what he had come here for. He looked over to the bed and saw the wounded man also looking around him in confusion. When he saw the emperor, he stared at him intently and then said in a faint whisper, "Please forgive me."
"But what have you done that I should forgive you?" the emperor asked.
"You do not know me, your majesty, but I know you. I was your sworn enemy, and I had vowed to take vengeance on you, for during the last war you killed my brother and seized my property. When I learned that you were coming alone to the mountain to meet the hermit, I resolved to surprise you on your way back to kill you. But after waiting a long time there was still no sign of you, and so I left my ambush in order to seek you out. But instead of finding you, I came across your attendants, who recognized me, giving me this wound. Luckily, I escaped and ran here. If I hadn't met you I would surely be dead by now. I had intended to kill you, but instead you saved my life! I am ashamed and grateful beyond words. If I live, I vow to be your servant for the rest of my life, and I will bid my children and grandchildren to do the same. Please grant me your forgiveness."
The emperor was overjoyed to see that he was so easily reconciled with a former enemy. He not only forgave the man but promised to return all the man's property and to send his own physician and servants to wait on the man until he was completely healed. After ordering his attendants to take the man home, the emperor returned to see the hermit. Before returning to the palace the emperor wanted to repeat his three questions one last time. He found the hermit sowing seeds in the earth they had dug the day before.
The hermit stood up and looked at the emperor. "But your questions have already been answered."
"How's that?" the emperor asked, puzzled.
"Yesterday, if you had not taken pity on my age and given me a hand with digging these beds, you would have been attacked by that man on your way home. Then you would have deeply regretted not staying with me. Therefore the most important time was the time you were digging in the beds, the most important person was myself, and the most important pursuit was to help me. Later, when the wounded man ran up here, the most important time was the time you spent dressing his wound, for if you had not cared for him he would have died and you would have lost the chance to be reconciled with him. Likewise, he was the most important person, and the most important pursuit was taking care of his wound. Remember that there is only one important time and is Now. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion. The most important person is always the person with whom you are, who is right before you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future. Th
:: To live deeper, we have to go to the places that help us find a slower
:: rhythm. But simply going to these places is not enough. We have to let
:: these places touch us, change us, speak to us.”
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
To: list-SimonsReflections
: Today’s Reflection is about a story that crossed my path,
: “The Three Questions” by Leo Tolstoy. And even though it crossed
: my path a long time ago, it is somehow ever more relevant today.
Three Questions - by Leo Tolstoy
One day it occurred to a certain emperor that if he only knew the answers to three questions, he would never stray in any matter.
What is the best time to do each thing? Who are the most important people to work with? What is the most important thing to do at all times?
The emperor issued a decree throughout his kingdom announcing that whoever could answer the questions would receive a great reward. Many who read the decree made their way to the palace at once, each person with a different answer.
In reply to the first question, one person advised that the emperor make up a thorough time schedule, consecrating every hour, day, month, and year for certain tasks and then follow the schedule to the letter. Only then could he hope to do every task at the right time.
Another person replied that it was impossible to plan in advance and that the emperor should put all vain amusements aside and remain attentive to everything in order to know what to do at what time.
Someone else insisted that, by himself, the emperor could never hope to have all the foresight and competence necessary to decide when to do each and every task and what he really needed was to set up a Council of the Wise and then to act according to their advice.
Someone else said that certain matters required immediate decision and could not wait for consultation, but if he wanted to know in advance what was going to happen he should consult magicians and soothsayers.
The responses to the second question also lacked accord.
One person said that the emperor needed to place all his trust in administrators, another urged reliance on priests and monks, while others recommended physicians. Still others put their faith in warriors.
The third question drew a similar variety of answers. Some said science was the most important pursuit. Others insisted on religion. Yet others claimed the most important thing was military skill.
The emperor was not pleased with any of the answers, and no reward was given.
After several nights of reflection, the emperor resolved to visit a hermit who lived up on the mountain and was said to be an enlightened man. The emperor wished to find the hermit to ask him the three questions, though he knew the hermit never left the mountains and was known to receive only the poor, refusing to have anything to do with persons of wealth or power. So the emperor disguised himself as a simple peasant and ordered his attendants to wait for him at the foot of the mountain while he climbed the slope alone to seek the hermit.
Reaching the holy man's dwelling place, the emperor found the hermit digging a garden in front of his hut. When the hermit saw the stranger, he nodded his head in greeting and continued to dig. The labor was obviously hard on him. He was an old man, and each time he thrust his spade into the ground to turn the earth, he heaved heavily.
The emperor approached him and said, "I have come here to ask your help with three questions: When is the best time to do each thing? Who are the most important people to work with? What is the most important thing to do at all times?"
The hermit listened attentively but only patted the emperor on the shoulder and continued digging. The emperor said, "You must be tired. Here, let me give you a hand with that." The hermit thanked him, handed the emperor the spade, and then sat down on the ground to rest.
After he had dug two rows, the emperor stopped and turned to the hermit and repeated his three questions. The hermit still did not answer, but instead stood up and pointed to the spade and said, "Why don't you rest now? I can take over again." But the emperor continued to dig. One hour passed, then two. Finally the sun began to set behind the mountain. The emperor put down the spade and said to the hermit, "I came here to ask if you could answer my three questions. But if you can't give me any answer, please let me know so that I can get on may way home."
The hermit lifted his head and asked the emperor, "Do you hear someone running over there?" The emperor turned his head. They both saw a man with a long white beard emerge from the woods. He ran wildly, pressing his hands against a bloody wound in his stomach. The man ran toward the emperor before falling unconscious to the ground, where he lay groaning. Opening the man's clothing, the emperor and hermit saw that the man had received a deep gash. The emperor cleaned the wound thoroughly and then used his own shirt to bandage it, but the blood completely soaked it within minutes. He rinsed the shirt out and bandaged the wound a second time and continued to do so until the flow of blood had stopped.
At last the wounded man regained consciousness and asked for a drink of water. The emperor ran down to the stream and brought back a jug of fresh water. Meanwhile, the sun had disappeared and the night air had begun to turn cold. The hermit gave the emperor a hand in carrying the man into the hut where they laid him down on the hermit's bed. The man closed his eyes and lay quietly. The emperor was worn out from the long day of climbing the mountain and digging the garden. Leaning against the doorway, he fell asleep. When he rose, the sun had already risen over the mountain. For a moment he forgot where he was and what he had come here for. He looked over to the bed and saw the wounded man also looking around him in confusion. When he saw the emperor, he stared at him intently and then said in a faint whisper, "Please forgive me."
"But what have you done that I should forgive you?" the emperor asked.
"You do not know me, your majesty, but I know you. I was your sworn enemy, and I had vowed to take vengeance on you, for during the last war you killed my brother and seized my property. When I learned that you were coming alone to the mountain to meet the hermit, I resolved to surprise you on your way back to kill you. But after waiting a long time there was still no sign of you, and so I left my ambush in order to seek you out. But instead of finding you, I came across your attendants, who recognized me, giving me this wound. Luckily, I escaped and ran here. If I hadn't met you I would surely be dead by now. I had intended to kill you, but instead you saved my life! I am ashamed and grateful beyond words. If I live, I vow to be your servant for the rest of my life, and I will bid my children and grandchildren to do the same. Please grant me your forgiveness."
The emperor was overjoyed to see that he was so easily reconciled with a former enemy. He not only forgave the man but promised to return all the man's property and to send his own physician and servants to wait on the man until he was completely healed. After ordering his attendants to take the man home, the emperor returned to see the hermit. Before returning to the palace the emperor wanted to repeat his three questions one last time. He found the hermit sowing seeds in the earth they had dug the day before.
The hermit stood up and looked at the emperor. "But your questions have already been answered."
"How's that?" the emperor asked, puzzled.
"Yesterday, if you had not taken pity on my age and given me a hand with digging these beds, you would have been attacked by that man on your way home. Then you would have deeply regretted not staying with me. Therefore the most important time was the time you were digging in the beds, the most important person was myself, and the most important pursuit was to help me. Later, when the wounded man ran up here, the most important time was the time you spent dressing his wound, for if you had not cared for him he would have died and you would have lost the chance to be reconciled with him. Likewise, he was the most important person, and the most important pursuit was taking care of his wound. Remember that there is only one important time and is Now. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion. The most important person is always the person with whom you are, who is right before you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future. Th
:: To live deeper, we have to go to the places that help us find a slower
:: rhythm. But simply going to these places is not enough. We have to let
:: these places touch us, change us, speak to us.”
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
25 March 2009
Voice Dialogue Tips
March 2009
Email us: jcoroneos@bigpond.com
Web Site: http://www.bodymindinformation.com
Dear Joyce,
This month we continue our series of articles titled " The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship: Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines "
The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship:
Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines
(an excerpt from Dr Hal & Sidra Stone's book titled "Partnering")
Challenge 2: Work
Our work is very important. It gives us power and money and keeps us safe in the world. It helps us to define ourselves. Hopefully, if we give it enough attention, our work will always be there to support us and we do not have to worry about our work abandoning or divorcing us. Most important, as long as we have our work, we do not have to think very much about our vulnerability. Anything that helps us to deal with our vulnerability, without us having to face it directly, is extremely attractive.
Is it any wonder that many of us develop a primary linkage to our work and relegate our relationship to second place? When we feel vulnerable deep down inside and we do not want to know about it, going to work can make us feel better. At work, we make a difference. We are needed. We are wanted. Here we have mastery, or at least we can work toward mastery. This is extremely reassuring. Life feels safe and structured and our priorities are set for us. We know what is expected and we are able to do the right thing. Add to all this, the fact that we are earning money and contributing to the financial security of both our inner and outer children and you have a total win-win situation.
Unfortunately, the more our linkage is to work, the less energy there is left for relationship. Since the lifeblood of any relationship is linkage, this is not good for the relationship! The tendency to link to work rather than to one's partner is a major challenge to relationship.
Traditionally, men have buried themselves in work when they felt vulnerable or their emotions became too uncomfortable. Now women, too, have this marvelous option available. Many women have learned to drop the linkage in the relationship and shift their energies to their work. When the going gets rough for a two-career couple and each partner has satisfying work, there is a strong temptation for the partners to shift the primary linkage from their relationship to their work. As this happens, each feels abandoned by the other and each links even more intensely to work.
This linkage may be to the work itself, to the clients they serve, or to their coworkers. This linkage is frequently to a particular person at work, an understanding coworker or a particularly supportive assistant. Traditionally it was the man's secretary. This may or may not become a full-blown extramarital relationship.
We find this can be a particularly subtle challenge for people who work together. For instance, it is very easy for the two of us to get so involved in a project that we lose contact with each other. We may both get so interested in our writing that our linkage goes to the book rather than to one another. It may look as though we are still in a relationship because we are both linked to the same object, but we are not. Not really. We are like two oxen yoked to the same cart. We are pulling together and doing a great job, but we have blinders on and we no longer see each other. We just see the road ahead. When this happens, there is a loss of intimacy. We do not feel good and we do not know why.
There are many times in life when being linked to work looks like a natural and necessary move. This is particularly true when there are financial pressures, either real or imagined. One or both partners will deal with this underlying vulnerability in the most seemingly sensible fashion by working harder and earning more money. This is not a problem if the connection between the partners stays strong and intimate. Usually, however, at times like these the truly strong connection switches to work and the partners gradually and unobtrusively drift apart until they are almost like strangers to one another.
Of course, there are times when any of us will feel better at work than at home, but think about it. Over all, where do you feel better, with your partner or with your work?
To deal with this challenge, see what you can do about putting a limit on the amount of time you spend at work or thinking about work. Set boundaries. Try to set realistic time limits that you can meet; for instance, no work or work-related activity between 8:30 P.M. and 7:00 A.M. This will probably be extremely difficult to do at first. To help you do this, keep a notepad with you so that when you have a work-related thought during your off-hours, you can write it down and not think about it until the next work session. For instance, you remember that you should send an E-mail to double check on yesterday's order. Write it down on your notepad and put it away until tomorrow. Otherwise you will probably spend a great deal of time (1) trying not to think this thought and (2) fearing that you will forget to send the E-mail.
The next Challenge to Relationship is titled "Other Relationships in Fact and Fantasy" , and will be presented in upcoming Voice Dialogue Tips.
For more information on Voice Dialogue, visit http://www.bodymindinformation.com
To read previous Voice Dialogue tips, visit http://www.bodymindinformation.com/voice-dialogue-tips-archive.htm
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Send these Voice Dialogue Tips to Friends:
If you would like to send these tips on to any of your friends, please forward them by email. You can also advise your friends at http://www.bodymindinformation.com/tell-a-friend.php If you are able to help us do this, we would like to thank you by sending you a FREE REPORT titled: Voice Dialogue: A Guide To Great Relationships.
They can also register to receive future copies on our web site, which has a subscriber's panel, or they can email jcoroneos@bigpond.com directly. We will not be giving any of the addresses we receive to anyone else or any other organization. At any point you can stop receiving them - just click on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.
How To Change Your Email details:
If you need to change your email address, the quickest and surest way is this: click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this page. Then go to the web site http://www.bodymindinformation.com and resubscribe with your new address. If you find your name spelt incorrectly, or have no name mentioned at the beginning of this letter, then email us on jcoroneos@bigpond.com and we will change it.
Warmly,
Dr John Coroneos
Medical Doctor
Producer of The Voice Dialogue Series
Copyright Wiseone Edutainment P/L
No part of Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue tips may be reproduced, in any form, without the written permission of Drs Hal and Sidra Stone except for forwarding an issue, in its entirety and complete with copyright information, to a friend.
Email us: jcoroneos@bigpond.com
Web Site: http://www.bodymindinformation.com
Dear Joyce,
This month we continue our series of articles titled " The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship: Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines "
The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship:
Keeping Your Love Alive Amid Life's Routines
(an excerpt from Dr Hal & Sidra Stone's book titled "Partnering")
Challenge 2: Work
Our work is very important. It gives us power and money and keeps us safe in the world. It helps us to define ourselves. Hopefully, if we give it enough attention, our work will always be there to support us and we do not have to worry about our work abandoning or divorcing us. Most important, as long as we have our work, we do not have to think very much about our vulnerability. Anything that helps us to deal with our vulnerability, without us having to face it directly, is extremely attractive.
Is it any wonder that many of us develop a primary linkage to our work and relegate our relationship to second place? When we feel vulnerable deep down inside and we do not want to know about it, going to work can make us feel better. At work, we make a difference. We are needed. We are wanted. Here we have mastery, or at least we can work toward mastery. This is extremely reassuring. Life feels safe and structured and our priorities are set for us. We know what is expected and we are able to do the right thing. Add to all this, the fact that we are earning money and contributing to the financial security of both our inner and outer children and you have a total win-win situation.
Unfortunately, the more our linkage is to work, the less energy there is left for relationship. Since the lifeblood of any relationship is linkage, this is not good for the relationship! The tendency to link to work rather than to one's partner is a major challenge to relationship.
Traditionally, men have buried themselves in work when they felt vulnerable or their emotions became too uncomfortable. Now women, too, have this marvelous option available. Many women have learned to drop the linkage in the relationship and shift their energies to their work. When the going gets rough for a two-career couple and each partner has satisfying work, there is a strong temptation for the partners to shift the primary linkage from their relationship to their work. As this happens, each feels abandoned by the other and each links even more intensely to work.
This linkage may be to the work itself, to the clients they serve, or to their coworkers. This linkage is frequently to a particular person at work, an understanding coworker or a particularly supportive assistant. Traditionally it was the man's secretary. This may or may not become a full-blown extramarital relationship.
We find this can be a particularly subtle challenge for people who work together. For instance, it is very easy for the two of us to get so involved in a project that we lose contact with each other. We may both get so interested in our writing that our linkage goes to the book rather than to one another. It may look as though we are still in a relationship because we are both linked to the same object, but we are not. Not really. We are like two oxen yoked to the same cart. We are pulling together and doing a great job, but we have blinders on and we no longer see each other. We just see the road ahead. When this happens, there is a loss of intimacy. We do not feel good and we do not know why.
There are many times in life when being linked to work looks like a natural and necessary move. This is particularly true when there are financial pressures, either real or imagined. One or both partners will deal with this underlying vulnerability in the most seemingly sensible fashion by working harder and earning more money. This is not a problem if the connection between the partners stays strong and intimate. Usually, however, at times like these the truly strong connection switches to work and the partners gradually and unobtrusively drift apart until they are almost like strangers to one another.
Of course, there are times when any of us will feel better at work than at home, but think about it. Over all, where do you feel better, with your partner or with your work?
To deal with this challenge, see what you can do about putting a limit on the amount of time you spend at work or thinking about work. Set boundaries. Try to set realistic time limits that you can meet; for instance, no work or work-related activity between 8:30 P.M. and 7:00 A.M. This will probably be extremely difficult to do at first. To help you do this, keep a notepad with you so that when you have a work-related thought during your off-hours, you can write it down and not think about it until the next work session. For instance, you remember that you should send an E-mail to double check on yesterday's order. Write it down on your notepad and put it away until tomorrow. Otherwise you will probably spend a great deal of time (1) trying not to think this thought and (2) fearing that you will forget to send the E-mail.
The next Challenge to Relationship is titled "Other Relationships in Fact and Fantasy" , and will be presented in upcoming Voice Dialogue Tips.
For more information on Voice Dialogue, visit http://www.bodymindinformation.com
To read previous Voice Dialogue tips, visit http://www.bodymindinformation.com/voice-dialogue-tips-archive.htm
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Send these Voice Dialogue Tips to Friends:
If you would like to send these tips on to any of your friends, please forward them by email. You can also advise your friends at http://www.bodymindinformation.com/tell-a-friend.php If you are able to help us do this, we would like to thank you by sending you a FREE REPORT titled: Voice Dialogue: A Guide To Great Relationships.
They can also register to receive future copies on our web site, which has a subscriber's panel, or they can email jcoroneos@bigpond.com directly. We will not be giving any of the addresses we receive to anyone else or any other organization. At any point you can stop receiving them - just click on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.
How To Change Your Email details:
If you need to change your email address, the quickest and surest way is this: click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this page. Then go to the web site http://www.bodymindinformation.com and resubscribe with your new address. If you find your name spelt incorrectly, or have no name mentioned at the beginning of this letter, then email us on jcoroneos@bigpond.com and we will change it.
Warmly,
Dr John Coroneos
Medical Doctor
Producer of The Voice Dialogue Series
Copyright Wiseone Edutainment P/L
No part of Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue tips may be reproduced, in any form, without the written permission of Drs Hal and Sidra Stone except for forwarding an issue, in its entirety and complete with copyright information, to a friend.
27 February 2009
Voice Dialogue Tips
Voice Dialogue Tips
February 2009
Email us: jcoroneos@bigpond.com
Web Site: http://www.bodymindinformation.com
Dear Joyce,
Welcome to the Voice Dialogue Tips. This month's article is titled:
Using Subpersonalities in Successful Story and Film Script Writing By Michael Domeyko Rowland
Michael Domeyko Rowland is the director and presenter of the 12 part Voice Dialogue Video Series and author of the Screen Story Writing System. I have had many requests for his view on subpersonalities and their place in writing films and books. So I thought I'd send his article out this month, and follow with a continuation of Hal & Sidra's series of articles titled "The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship".
Using Subpersonalities in Successful Story and Film Script Writing
By Michael Domeyko Rowland
Writing film scripts and novels is a job of consciously building a story that can awaken powerful emotions in your audience.
To be really successful at this, it is vital to understand that reading and viewing stories is also the main way that people experience the integration of different selves or subpersonalities.
It is actually the awakening and the integration of previously buried selves in a story character that causes the emotional catharsis in the audience.
This is the real function of story and the secret of writing great works and enjoying huge success.
When a person goes to the movies, or reads a novel, they are quite obviously looking for something. At the surface level it may be just pure entertainment.
But, at a deeper level, they are actually seeking a greater knowledge of how to live.
Unless you are fortunate enough to know about Voice Dialogue, and the brilliant work of Hal and Sidra Stone, your mind will constantly be seeking the means to become whole and make sense of your life.
At a subconscious level, everybody knows that they are made up of many different subpersonalities. In some this insight is conscious. But for the majority of people it is a mystery. They have no idea that this is how their mind operates.
They believe they are a singular being, and that they are limited to whatever modes of expression they have at the surface of their mind.
Most feel deeply that they could be far more than they actually are, and express themselves in many more ways than they do. But they have no idea how to do it. And, as each year passes, they feel the opportunity slipping away.
So they are driven to do something about this sense of lack.
The way that society has evolved is that stories are offered as the solution. Good ones actually are a solution. The not so good are a sedative for this problem.
When you read a book, or go to a movie, you identify with the lead character, who is known as the protagonist. Your consciousness slips away, as you fall into the story, and your identification with the protagonist allows you to be drawn deeply into a subconscious state and join in with the adventure, or drama, that the protagonist is undergoing.
The more well written the story, the more the audience can identify with the protagonist. Well written means the ability to cause a catharsis, or flood of emotions in the audience.
If a story can do this, then it will become an immediate success. We only have to look at ‘Slumdog Millionaire' to see the power of a story's emotions to take a film to unimaginable heights.
What is most interesting, about a great story, is that the protagonist goes through a transformational arc. In other words they begin with a lack in their character and, by the end of the story, they have solved this by adding an extra subpersonality to their primary self structure.
If they do not do this, and remain the same person at the end of the story, as they were at the beginning, then the audience receive no experience of transformation.
So a protagonist might start off without, say, the courage to take responsibility for their family. By the end of the story, after the specific dramatic events have taken place, they have added the characteristics of courage and responsibility to their primary selves. They have awoken and integrated the selves of courage and responsibility.
As the audience is identified with the protagonist in a great story, the experience the protagonist goes through, of integration of an additional sub personality, is also experienced by the audience.
For a person reading a book or watching a movie, this shared journey of awakening and expressing an additional self or selves, satisfies that basic need of becoming more than they are in their present-day life. This is the function of story catharsis.
Another way of saying this is giving birth to those characteristics or selves that have not had the opportunity of expression before.
This experience draws an audience member out of themselves and increases their energy. They have a sense of fulfilment and happiness they did not have at the beginning of the story. They feel renewed.
After all emotion is e-motion or energy in motion. The great story has caused more energy to flow through them, because something has been unlocked in their psyche.
In fact, the secret of writing successful stories is to realise that people are constantly looking to awaken and integrate more of their selves. So, it is vital to ensure that when you write, you specifically aim your story to give them that experience, through the creation of an emotional catharsis and integration of more selves.
For information on Michael Rowland's writing course, please go to: www.screenstorywriting.com or email him to: info@screenstorywriting.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Send these Voice Dialogue Tips to Friends:
If you would like to send these tips on to any of your friends, please forward them by email. You can also advise your friends at http://www.bodymindinformation.com/tell-a-friend.php If you are able to help us do this, we would like to thank you by sending you a FREE REPORT titled: Voice Dialogue: A Guide To Great Relationships.
They can also register to receive future copies on our web site, which has a subscriber's panel, or they can email jcoroneos@bigpond.com directly. We will not be giving any of the addresses we receive to anyone else or any other organization. At any point you can stop receiving them - just click on the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email.
How To Change Your Email details:
If you need to change your email address, the quickest and surest way is this: click the unsubscribe link at the bottom of this page. Then go to the web site http://www.bodymindinformation.com and resubscribe with your new address. If you find your name spelt incorrectly, or have no name mentioned at the beginning of this letter, then email us on jcoroneos@bigpond.com and we will change it.
Warmly,
Dr John Coroneos
Medical Doctor
Producer of The Voice Dialogue Series
Copyright Wiseone Edutainment P/L
No part of Hal and Sidra's Voice Dialogue tips may be reproduced, in any form, without the written permission of Drs Hal and Sidra Stone except for forwarding an issue, in its entirety and complete with copyright information, to a friend.
To remove yourself from future mailing, click the link below.
Unsubscribe
February 2009
Email us: jcoroneos@bigpond.com
Web Site: http://www.bodymindinformation.com
Dear Joyce,
Welcome to the Voice Dialogue Tips. This month's article is titled:
Using Subpersonalities in Successful Story and Film Script Writing By Michael Domeyko Rowland
Michael Domeyko Rowland is the director and presenter of the 12 part Voice Dialogue Video Series and author of the Screen Story Writing System. I have had many requests for his view on subpersonalities and their place in writing films and books. So I thought I'd send his article out this month, and follow with a continuation of Hal & Sidra's series of articles titled "The Top Ten Challenges to Relationship".
Using Subpersonalities in Successful Story and Film Script Writing
By Michael Domeyko Rowland
Writing film scripts and novels is a job of consciously building a story that can awaken powerful emotions in your audience.
To be really successful at this, it is vital to understand that reading and viewing stories is also the main way that people experience the integration of different selves or subpersonalities.
It is actually the awakening and the integration of previously buried selves in a story character that causes the emotional catharsis in the audience.
This is the real function of story and the secret of writing great works and enjoying huge success.
When a person goes to the movies, or reads a novel, they are quite obviously looking for something. At the surface level it may be just pure entertainment.
But, at a deeper level, they are actually seeking a greater knowledge of how to live.
Unless you are fortunate enough to know about Voice Dialogue, and the brilliant work of Hal and Sidra Stone, your mind will constantly be seeking the means to become whole and make sense of your life.
At a subconscious level, everybody knows that they are made up of many different subpersonalities. In some this insight is conscious. But for the majority of people it is a mystery. They have no idea that this is how their mind operates.
They believe they are a singular being, and that they are limited to whatever modes of expression they have at the surface of their mind.
Most feel deeply that they could be far more than they actually are, and express themselves in many more ways than they do. But they have no idea how to do it. And, as each year passes, they feel the opportunity slipping away.
So they are driven to do something about this sense of lack.
The way that society has evolved is that stories are offered as the solution. Good ones actually are a solution. The not so good are a sedative for this problem.
When you read a book, or go to a movie, you identify with the lead character, who is known as the protagonist. Your consciousness slips away, as you fall into the story, and your identification with the protagonist allows you to be drawn deeply into a subconscious state and join in with the adventure, or drama, that the protagonist is undergoing.
The more well written the story, the more the audience can identify with the protagonist. Well written means the ability to cause a catharsis, or flood of emotions in the audience.
If a story can do this, then it will become an immediate success. We only have to look at ‘Slumdog Millionaire' to see the power of a story's emotions to take a film to unimaginable heights.
What is most interesting, about a great story, is that the protagonist goes through a transformational arc. In other words they begin with a lack in their character and, by the end of the story, they have solved this by adding an extra subpersonality to their primary self structure.
If they do not do this, and remain the same person at the end of the story, as they were at the beginning, then the audience receive no experience of transformation.
So a protagonist might start off without, say, the courage to take responsibility for their family. By the end of the story, after the specific dramatic events have taken place, they have added the characteristics of courage and responsibility to their primary selves. They have awoken and integrated the selves of courage and responsibility.
As the audience is identified with the protagonist in a great story, the experience the protagonist goes through, of integration of an additional sub personality, is also experienced by the audience.
For a person reading a book or watching a movie, this shared journey of awakening and expressing an additional self or selves, satisfies that basic need of becoming more than they are in their present-day life. This is the function of story catharsis.
Another way of saying this is giving birth to those characteristics or selves that have not had the opportunity of expression before.
This experience draws an audience member out of themselves and increases their energy. They have a sense of fulfilment and happiness they did not have at the beginning of the story. They feel renewed.
After all emotion is e-motion or energy in motion. The great story has caused more energy to flow through them, because something has been unlocked in their psyche.
In fact, the secret of writing successful stories is to realise that people are constantly looking to awaken and integrate more of their selves. So, it is vital to ensure that when you write, you specifically aim your story to give them that experience, through the creation of an emotional catharsis and integration of more selves.
For information on Michael Rowland's writing course, please go to: www.screenstorywriting.com or email him to: info@screenstorywriting.com
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26 February 2009
Simon's Reflections
: Today’s Reflection is about a poem that feels very relevant
: to my life right now. Perhaps to yours too, even though the
: reasons might not be the same.
In that first
hardly noticed
moment
to which you wake,
coming back
to this life
from the other
more secret,
moveable
and frighteningly
honest
world
where everything
began,
there is a small
opening
into the new day
which closes
the moment
you begin
your plans.
What you can plan
is too small
for you to live.
What you can live
wholeheartedly
will make plans
enough
for the vitality
hidden in your sleep.
To be human
is to become visible
while carrying
what is hidden
as a gift to others.
To remember
the other world
in this world
is to live in your
true inheritance.
You are not
a troubled guest
on this earth,
you are not
an accident
amidst other accidents
you were invited
from another and greater
night
than the one
from which
you have just emerged.
Now, looking through
the slanting light
of the morning
window toward
the mountain
presence
of everything
that can be,
what urgency
calls you to your
one love? What shape
waits in the seed
of you to grow
and spread
its branches
against a future sky?
Is it waiting
in the fertile sea?
In the trees
beyond the house?
In the life
you can imagine
for yourself?
In the open
and lovely
white page
on the waiting desk?
- David Whyte
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
__._,_.___
: to my life right now. Perhaps to yours too, even though the
: reasons might not be the same.
In that first
hardly noticed
moment
to which you wake,
coming back
to this life
from the other
more secret,
moveable
and frighteningly
honest
world
where everything
began,
there is a small
opening
into the new day
which closes
the moment
you begin
your plans.
What you can plan
is too small
for you to live.
What you can live
wholeheartedly
will make plans
enough
for the vitality
hidden in your sleep.
To be human
is to become visible
while carrying
what is hidden
as a gift to others.
To remember
the other world
in this world
is to live in your
true inheritance.
You are not
a troubled guest
on this earth,
you are not
an accident
amidst other accidents
you were invited
from another and greater
night
than the one
from which
you have just emerged.
Now, looking through
the slanting light
of the morning
window toward
the mountain
presence
of everything
that can be,
what urgency
calls you to your
one love? What shape
waits in the seed
of you to grow
and spread
its branches
against a future sky?
Is it waiting
in the fertile sea?
In the trees
beyond the house?
In the life
you can imagine
for yourself?
In the open
and lovely
white page
on the waiting desk?
- David Whyte
A sunny week to you all, inside and out.
:: Simon’s Reflections newsletter is published on a
:: bi-weekly basis and contains writings that touch
:: the heart, provoke the mind, and inspire action.
:: Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
Simon
About: http://www.SimonGoland.com
Blog: http://www.SimonGoland.com/news
Archives: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SimonsReflectionsList
__._,_.___
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